Celebrating all Dads this Christmas: Finding the best present that fits their interests

13/12/2019 by Leave a Comment

Looking for the perfect gift for the guy who has it all? Dads have various hobbies and personalities, but according to the statitsa Global Consumer Survey, your average Australian adult can have an affinity for one of three major interest niches: sports, cooking, and traveling. In the same way that dads have different parenting styles, even their interests may vary. Now that Christmastime is here, let’s explore some gift ideas for dads who fall into one or more of these interest categories.  

For The Sports-Minded Dad 

The sporty Dad can be both spectator and active participant, but whichever he may be, he will appreciate souvenirs from his favorite team. A jersey from his favorite team would be a good gift to give, if he doesn’t own one already. A personalised team jersey with his name emblazoned on it would be even better. As for signed memorabilia and other hard-to-reach items, you can find the best deals by ebay online shopping with Qantas. If this particular dad is heavy on the “active participation” part, gift him things that would facilitate his need for athletics. These include new trainers, sports socks, and other sports gear that would make his gameplay more enjoyable. Make sure to pay attention to his passing remarks at the dinner table as well. If dad had mentioned that he’d have liked to try golf, he’ll definitely be surprised with a brand new golf set.

For Dads With A Culinary Interest

Dads who enjoy cooking often love to incorporate new ingredients into their concoctions and use new cooking tools to make them. That would make things like DIY sauce kits, new pots, pans, and utensils great options for Christmas gifts. There’s always room for novelty with an interest such as cooking, too. This means that Chef Dad ought to get a kick out of learning how to make new dishes with some interesting cookbooks or a high-tech grilling device. Cooking can be a costly hobby, however, especially when their favorite ingredients are out of season. Aside from a home-cooked Christmas feast, dad might even show his appreciation for his star patron by cooking a supersized batch of their favorite Christmas dish. 

For Dads Who Travel

Whether they travel for work or pleasure, the travelling Dad might often spend their time searching for comfort when out on the road. A simple, yet thoughtful gift would be to upgrade this flight tickets, or new travel gear to make his journeys a trifle easier. Things like travel grooming kits, mobile media devices, power banks, or even backpack coolers and ergonomic suitcases would all make his trips away from home more comfortable. 

Dads, like any individual, come with their own unique preferences no matter what category of parenting involvement they fall into. When picking out gifts for dads, it is important to remember that the best gifts are those that meet their personal goals and interests, with nothing but the best intentions at heart.

Filed Under: Celebrations, Dads Health, Lifestyle, Some Fun

Winners in separation?

02/12/2019 by Leave a Comment

Winners in separation? Dads Online speak with family lawyer, Daniel Dalli of Aston Legal Group about whether there are any winners when it comes to separation. These series of podcasts focusing on separation and divorce can equip you, in making better decisions about your family matters.

Remember if are feeling overwhelmed with sadness or grief, or need someone to talk to, there are organisations that can help. Call Mensline (www.mensline.org.au) on 1300 789 978 or Lifeline (www.lifeline.org.au) on 13 11 14. If you need family law assistance from a lawyer, feel free to contact Daniel Dalli, Partner of Aston Legal Group (www.astonlegalgroup.com.au) on either 0423 729 686 or email at daniel@astonlegalgroup.com.au.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Relationships, Separation

When they are with you they’re yours

07/09/2019 by Leave a Comment

Yep you’re in-charge of everything when your kids are with you.
It makes zero difference how many rules their mum has, your running the things now, so own it!

Obviously some degree of common sense is desirable between the two homes. You are free to set up your home exactly how you want to. If you like how their mum has set hers up, copy the good ideas.
If your’e not confident in knowing how to set up a home, don’t rely on their mum to show you, seriously work it out yourself.

If she offers, politely say, no thanks I’m good 🙂 and jump onto Google and YouTube, all our questions are answered there. You’ll be surprised how easy it can be and how logical and best of all you’ll a great sense of accomplishment! Putting a home together with your children in mind can be googled by using keywords and phrases like: setting up a girls bedroom or how to decorate a child’s room or how to make your home child friendly or teenage bedroom ideas…have a go.

Don’t worry if you have a completely different set up to their mums home, it will teach your children life skills around adapting to change. Kids know that there are different rules in different places. Every day they are adapting to change when going to school, over to Poppies house, going to football training. Don’t let the change concern you because they’re good at it and its not a biggy.

Some of the things I would consider around aligning your house rules with mums purely for the sake of looking after your kids. for example: If their mum doesn’t want toy guns in the house and it sets her off when they play war games or violence games online, then its best to not allow this too in yours. If you allow this in your house you could be making it hard on them when they return to their mums and we don’t want to do that, it’s not fair on them.

You are not obligated to abide by the kids mum’s wishes when they’re with you, you are free to care for them the best way you know how and i bet its perfect. Some Mum’s will try and tell you what to do and how to look after them, you don’t have to agree or give what she says any credence. Your job is to look after you children and do what is in the best interest for them.

If she argues with you about not doing as she likes, you just have to deal with it as that is also part of being divorce. She’ll get used to you carving out your own path of parenting once she see that your way works too.

Best of luck, I’m sure you’ll do an amazing job.

Filed Under: Children, Fathering, Parenting, Separation

Its normal to grieve the loss of a relationship

31/08/2019 by Leave a Comment

Don’t be too hard on yourself, Separation and divorce can be the toughest road you will ever go down.

You will feel a range of experiences going through this, from the initial realization that separation will happen through to getting your emotions, finances and co-parenting arrangements sorted out. Whilst somethings can get sorted fairly quickly, emotions can take years to mend. Some of these emotions are:

  • Frustration
  • Anger
  • Confusion
  • Relief
  • Sadness
  • Loneliness
  • Lost
  • Anxiety
  • Embarrassed
  • Guilt
  • Shame

I’m sure you could add to this list but one thing to remember is that: You have survived 100% of your worst days, and you will continue to do so because there is light at the end of this tunnel. Mostly all men go onto live happy fulfilled lives once the dust settles.

If you are going through separation or divorce and find it overwhelming or you’re upset and need someone to talk to, there is help out there. Never feel you need to go it alone, call one of these two organisations as they are set up perfectly to help you talk though your crisis, worries or concerns and discuss ideas about what steps you could take to help you get to a better place.

  • Mens Line 1300789978
  • Lifeline 131114

There are many reasons why you could feel very emotional throughout these times, things such as:

  • You and your ex partner are not agreeing
  • Loss of friends and social life
  • Loss of the family home
  • Loss of having your children every day
  • Your identity as a husband and dad
  • Finances become very tight
  • You become time poor

Being time poor is one of the practical issues you might face? Suddenly you are not sharing the household chores anymore, organizing the children, the shopping, cleaning, preparing food all becomes tasks you must do on your own. All these things can make you feel overwhelmed.

There are highs that you’ll experience too, when you set up your place there will be a feeling of independence, your own space and its all yours.
Everyone is different, they handle stress and change in different ways. Think about what works for you? Maybe its concentrating on work for a while, its one area you do want to make work! You can also focus on your health and get into great shape or keep a notepad and write down your dreams and future goals and make getting back on track you project.

Be patient, nothing gets fixed or sorted out over night or even in a month. Just know that sometimes things take a long time to get back on track. Stay off the booze, gambling, drugs and people that don’t support or help you to get to a better place.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Lifestyle, Separation

Will you spend Father’s Day with your kids?

30/08/2019 by 2 Comments

I hope so, its 2019 and these days there is more equality within the family home and fathers are finally recognized as being a positive influence, role model and in most circumstances crucial for a child’s healthy development.

Experts say;
Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections.

It was very different 20+ years ago and in some cases still a challenge even today to be recognized as a 50/50 parent. We were classed as second rate citizens when it came to being respected as an equal parent. Its getting better but I still see and hear the cave man views and opinions from TV presenters or radio hosts when the topic comes up.

Some Dads still struggle with the lack of access to their children after separation or divorce. Its just not fair! Some mothers still try to punish the Dad by preventing access, they don’t realize that they’re hurting their child. Yep, if you’re a mother reading this and fall into this category? Wake up, you are hurting your children!

So I trust all Dads will enjoy their day with or without the kids. I am lucky enough to have an ex partner who values fatherhood and we share our beautiful daughter 50/50. Even if Fathers Day landed on her week, I’d still spend time on the Sunday with her. This weekend we are having a buffet breakfast at a 5 star hotel because we both love that type of breakfast.

If you don’t have your kids this fathers day, do something that makes you happy i.e.

  • Visit a friend and have coffee &/or a drink
  • Go out to lunch
  • See a movie
  • Get a massage
  • Go for a bike ride and blow off some frustration
  • Go for a hike
  • Go for a long walk
  • Grab your favorite beer and cook a BBQ
  • Go fishing
  • Go to the gym
  • Read a book and stay in bed all day
  • Find a sports bar with a big TV and watch the game

Remember you are amazing

You are amazing and believe it! Many conflicts arise when people try to change you into who they think you should be, how you should act and what you should say. Instead of focusing on what you should do differently they should accept you for who you are, because you are enough. They should accept your lifestyle choices, your personality quirks, and your past choices. Not just on Father’s day but every day of the year.

Have a great day Dad’s with or without the kids.

Filed Under: Activities, Adelaide, Brisbane, Celebrations, Children, Dads Health, Hobart, Melbourne, Perth, Separation, Sydney

10 ways to get your teen to enjoy active time just as much as screen time

07/07/2018 by Leave a Comment

When teens become inseparable from their screens they miss out on the feel-good benefits of being active. Screen time isn’t unhealthy but being inactive is. It’s about getting the balance right and finding what they enjoy, so being active becomes a positive habit they get into for life.

  1. Enjoying active apps

An easy win is realising that screen time can be active. Some of the most engaging gaming involves VR and AR. Your teen can run from zombies, capture creatures and dance their heart out. All in a virtual world where their whole body, and not just their thumbs, get a work out. The added bonus of augmented reality apps on their phone is that it gets them outdoors too.

  1. Mucking around with mates

Playing a casual game outdoors with a few friends can be as good a laugh as gaming online. Backyard cricket, Ultimate Frisbee, a kick around in the park or a game of handball brings out the banter and gets fresh air in their lungs. And kit wise you’re looking at finding them balls and dustbins rather than a bag of pro gear.

  1. Getting into working out

Personal fitness has become highly aspirational and the gym is the new place to meet. Your teen can do the 7-minute work out with mates or workout at the free gym in the park. They can take the odd class or get the fitness bug big time and get into CrossFit. Whatever their level, there’s a device or app that will help them track and motivate themselves to stay with it and get fit.

  1. Becoming a team player

Being active is one of the many feel-good benefits of being part of a competitive team. Having a common goal and supporting your teammates through the ups and downs of competition, creates friendships and bonds that last for life. And then there’s winning! Nothing matches that feeling. Footy, netball, cricket, volleyball – find a sport and local team that appeals to your teen and watch them run with it.


  1. Honing their solo skills

Taking up a one-on-one sport or hobby that hones their solo skills might appeal to your teen more than being on a team. Sports like cycling, skateboarding, table tennis, surfing and martial arts can be competitive or just for fun, and highly social or quietly meditative. Whatever your teen enjoys most. And these hobbies don’t have to be exy – you can get a decent second-hand bike or board for a bargain with a bit of online searching.

  1. Taking up active leisure

It’s easy for teens to get stuck in a rut doing the same leisure activities with friends: chatting in a café, hanging at a mate’s house watching YouTube. Inspire them with ideas of fun things they can do free or cheaply locally that are a bit different. Like wall-climbing, kite flying, even body boarding and snorkelling if you live on the coast.

  1. Gifting fun experiences

Some activity-based experiences are expensive, but they can make a great party or surprise birthday gift for your teen. From water-parks and adventure zip-wire to roller coasters and paintball. From winter ice-skating to ten-pin bowling and barefoot bowls. Experiences make memories and get everyone up and having fun.

  1. Travelling by foot or peddle-power

Bicycling or walking places, where it’s safe to do so, saves a packet on public transport and gives your teen a great reason to be active. Not having to wait for the bus, or ask you for a lift, gives them more independence and more money in their pocket. Two things in short supply for most teens.

  1. Getting your teen out and about

You’re not the only parent whose second job is being a chauffeur. Talk to the parents of your teen’s friends. See if you can get a roster going to get your kids to their sports venues or long distance one-off events. Sharing the load takes the weight off you and means your teen is more in the mood to go because they’re with their mates.

  1. Equipping via eBay, Gumtree and Facebook

Okay, so ponies and green fees can’t be found cheaply on the internet, but a lot of second hand equipment can be. A little searching and some clever bidding can have your teen sporting some awesome gear for tens not hundreds of dollars. Get your haggling head on and get your teen out there having fun!

Want to know more about raising teenagers in a digital age? Check out Technology and Teenagers on the ReachOut Parents.

Author Bio:

Annie Wylie is the Content Manager at ReachOut Parents. She has 5+ years of experience across the media and not-for-profit sectors, using her passion and expertise for achieving better outcomes for vulnerable communities to produce stories, resources and events that matter.

Filed Under: Activities, Kids Activities

Does having a place help me get 50_50 custody

26/05/2018 by 2 Comments

Going through separation or know someone who is? These series of podcasts focusing on separation and divorce can equip you in making better decisions.

Thanks to Daniel Dalli for helping Dads Online with this helpful content.

If you need a good family Lawyer, Daniels details are below:

Daniel Dalli – FAMILY LAWYER
Level 1, 91 William Street, Melbourne Vic 3000
T 03 8391 8411
F 03 9614 7717
M 0423 729 686
E daniel@astonlegalgroup.com.au


The content of this podcast is intended to provide a general overview of the subject matter and is not be relied upon as giving legal advice. Advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.

If by listening to this podcast brings up sadness, grief or overwhelming emotions, you do not need to go through it alone. Call Mensline on 1300 789978 or Lifeline on 131114

Filed Under: Podcasts, Separation

Simple ways to save money on your financial separation

06/03/2018 by Leave a Comment

Any relationship breakdown is hard. With kids it is harder still. Emotions run high with sense and reason sometimes taking a back seat. The main focus is on protecting your children and rebuilding your future throughout this difficult time. You will make some of the biggest decisions of your life whilst trying to stay sane in the day-to-day. Then there’s the financial side …

Ex-couples can make huge mistakes during the separation process, and these mistakes can cost them big time. In fact, by not understanding the full ramifications of a financial separation, or by understanding but ignoring them, the amount of money wasted could affect the rest of your life, and in-turn the lives of your children.

Now is time to get your head around the best practice when it comes to splitting your assets. The choices you make will have a big impact on your present and your future. Get educated. Get confident. And get ready to move on with the rest of your life.

Here is our advice to keep costs down and get the best possible outcome when you separate from your partner.

Communication is crucial

Ironically, at a time when communication with your ex-partner may have broken-down, is the time it matters most. Learning to communicate calmly and respectfully with each other will save money, stress and time. Step-back and consider what form of communication is most effective between you and your ex-partner. In many cases, email is good as time can be taken to deliver clear and respectful wording, and eliminates the erratic emotion that can interject a phone call or texts or an in-person chat. It also allows the recipient to respond when they are calm and clear-headed. If you are aware of words, actions or even body language that may trigger your ex-partner, avoid them. It only takes one person to pave the way for better communication. Be that person. It will allow you to work through your financial separation logically and quickly without costly lawyers or courts making decisions which are out of your hands and you may not agree with.

Focus on the kids

In nearly all family breakdowns, each parent has one priority: Their children. Remember this is your common ground. Ultimately you both want the best for your children. Focusing on this one fact will get you a faster, less-costly, better outcome from your financial separation. Put aside your differences from the past and concentrate on the bigger picture and the future. No-one is more significant in this than your children. You may find that your mutual need to support them is what guides you through to a solution.

Educate yourself

When it comes to your financial separation, knowledge is not only power, but is also a huge money saver. The best bit is, there is plenty of free stuff available. This video from the Federal Circuit Court of Australia explains how to apply for a divorce and you can read-up on financial separation on the Divide website here. Warning: Make sure you arm yourself with the ‘correct’ knowledge. Advice from friends and family is well-meaning, but every financial separation is different so stick to the actuality and how it will influence your personal situation. Mistakes are costly and can be avoided by getting the facts early on.

DIY it

Like everything in life, the more you do yourself, the more money you will save. If you need professional support, either with a financial separation specialist or a lawyer, get as much information prepared before your first appointment with them. This includes, but is not limited to, your separation date, bank statements, mortgage statements, tax returns and superannuation details. Dig out the paperwork, make the necessary phone calls and compile a folder. Encourage your ex-partner to do the same. It may seem tiresome, possibly overwhelming, but the money you save by doing your own admin and anything else you are capable of, can be used to rebuild a better future for you and your children.

Be transparent

The key to a cost-effective and fast financial separation is transparency. Put it this way, it will all come out in the end. Be honest and open about your financials as well as your feelings. If you lead by example, your ex-partner is more likely to do the same. Half-truths and embellishments, for any reason, will slow down and complicate the process. They can even break-down an amicable process. If this happens lawyers may need to get involved, which means extra costs for both parties and will likely create more aggressive ‘via lawyer’ communication which will have consequences now and in the future.

Not in it to win it

Financial separation is not a battle field. There are no winners or losers. When you and your partner are both in this mindset it will be easier to move forward. By removing this competitive edge from the negotiations will allow you to make non-emotional, cost benefit-based decisions. Adopt a give and take attitude and you may find that your ex-partner follows your lead. Be flexible and open to her ideas and suggestions, and you may notice she is more open to yours. Remember, the aim here is to find middle ground that will allow you both to move on with your lives and be the best co-parents you can be.

 

AUTHOR BIO:

Chris Staples is a Director at Divide – Simple Financial Separation. He has seen how wealth is eroded through a divorce done badly and believes there is a cleaner way to make the break financially. He now helps couples with their financial separations in a cost-effective, peaceful manner, without using lawyers.

Filed Under: Finances, Relationships, Separation

How children react to separation

10/02/2018 by Leave a Comment

Rightfully so, we can become completely consumed by separation and divorce. It’s pretty much one of the most distracting and life changing events we can go through. It effects our personal life, finances and career. As I have said before, anyone going through divorce can expect their productivity to be reduced dramatically.  You can basically write off a year! Go through it once in your younger years, there is time to recover.  Go through it in your later years, there will be things you will struggle to recover from, i.e. finance!

Dads, i suggest that there is no better time than now to get advice on managing your finances, I read “the barefoot investor” book, implemented every bit of advice and no longer have credit card debt (cut them up) and I feel my finances are now under control, its a book I wish I had of read 10 years ago.

Children play a huge part in how we feel about our self during this period, mainly because we feel guilty.

Some of the most common feelings you will experience will be:

  • Exhausted or resentful
  • Confused about your child’s behaviour
  • Angry if you feel you are getting an unfair deal
  • Lonely when your children are not with you
  • Afraid that your children will not want to be with you and will prefer being with their mother
  • Apprehensive about dealing with family law
  • Good because you have agreed to a parenting plan and your children’s needs are taken care of
  • Thrilled when you have fun with your kids
  • Happy because you have more free time

Did you know children go through the same grieving process? However, because they often don’t understand why it is happening they often feel:

  • Shocked
  • Angry and sad about the loss of the family unit
  • Abandoned or rejected by the parent who instigated the break up
  • Afraid that if one parent has “left” the other one may leave too
  • Confused about whether it is ok to love the parent that no longer lives with them
  • Guilty, in some way the separation must be their fault
  • Worried for the parent who is not living with them

Children often don’t have the words to express themselves clearly, so they show their emotions (grief) in different ways.  They may:

  • Become aggressive or naughty
  • Withdraw
  • Become clingy
  • Act younger than they are e.g. children who have been toilet trained may start wetting or soiling themselves again
  • Have nightmares or find it hard to go to sleep
  • Change their eating patterns

It is important to take things slowly, make patience your best friend whilst everyone is getting used to a new way of living, unfortuately that can take years. Be reassuring, understanding and comforting when you are with your children and know that they too are experiencing loss and grief.  Make them a priority whilst you are also looking after yourself.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Kids Health, Parenting, Separation

Can next year be better than the last

17/12/2017 by Leave a Comment

Yes of course it can! If you want something bad enough then the only thing standing in its way is you.

That’s why its important to write out our goals for the new year. Writing them down goes beyond just thinking about what you’d like to achieve. It alters the emotional meaning behind all of your activities and forms a stronger connection back to the outcome, making it more likely you’ll achieve it.

When you’re writing down you goals you want to achieve, think about Why, By when and What will it mean for you, and write them under your goal.

If it means a lot to you then set an action plan on what you need to do to get their and then keep it top of mind. Put it on the fridge, in your diary, in your wallet and watch yourself move closer.

If your year has been average or let’s us been real maybe “crap” then you should be feeling quiet happy. Because the past does not equal the future. It doesn’t, seriously you can work your way out of financial hardship, find a better job, work on your relationships and you’ll be amazed at how quick it works. Its all about working towards your goals and being committed towards a plan that you really want.

Have a great year, write down your goals and get committed.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Fathering, Parenting

Have you and your partner discussed what having kids really means

09/12/2017 by 1 Comment

Relationships start out exactly how we like them, we’re smitten and crazy about each other. It very sensual and physical. Its fun and exciting, everything is new and you feel like your connection is cohesive enough to be able to handle anything that the world throws at you.

Planned or unplanned, having kids can dissolve that cohesive glue you both thought was impenetrable, why? Because you went into having children unprepared or failed to discuss the things that can trip you up. It’s challenging, demanding, thankless, tiring and lasts for the first 10-12 years before you get reprieve.

I recently spoke to a man who was expecting his first baby with his partner. I asked him have you discussed how you will help each other and handle the tough times when they come? He said, Nah! its not something we discuss, things are ok and we will just deal with what ever happens…eeeek! I think this is common, sadly.

The things that can be important to know & talk through (but not limited too, if you can think of more, discuss)

  • Pregnancy is a long time and can be messy
  • You may not automatically love your child day 1
  • A diminished social life can make life feel boring
  • Loss of freedom and also loss of time together can feel like a disconnect
  • When sleep becomes more important than sex, is the norm
  • Disagreeing on  how to raise your child, remember there is more than one way
  • Weekend sleep-ins was your previous life
  • Work is relatively easy compared to raising a baby, how can you lighten your partners load
  • Life changes and so do you and your partner
  • Hobbies and sports need to take a back seat for quiet a while
  • You are no longer “Joe” the carefree guy, you are “Joe” with responsibilities
  • Your own routine now becomes your babies routine
  • Expect both you and your partner to have ups and down feelings of happiness
  • You baby/child needs things NOW, there is no more of …”I’ll do it later”
  • Your stress levels increase and you feel edgy often
  • Your money is now all accounted for and you need to save for emergencies
  • Your friends look at your differently now, you have 1 or 2 beers not 10 anymore
  • If baby is crying all night, it might be easier to have the baby sleep in your bed so you all can sleep
  • Babies poo is smelling and messy and someone has to change it often
  • Sometimes babies cry for long periods for know reason
  • There are some mothers who refuse to even leave their baby with a safe family member so you can go out and have a break, how would you cope with that
  • Learn to cook and make lots of meals to freeze, sometimes it is just easier
  • Facebook life is BS, raising kids is hard work and you both need to work as a team
  • Keep an eye out if either of you need help, don’t be afraid to ask
  • Sleep when your baby sleeps, you need it
  • It’s exhausting, make sure you both get time to rest
  • Eating together becomes a thing of the past
  • This is a 12 year commitment to work as a team, after that it becomes easier and you should have mutual respect for the road traveled together
  • What if you feel like nothing you do is good enough

With all the ups and downs its an incredible feeling to raise a child. It has enormous amounts of joy and satisfaction but its extremely important you go into it with eyes wide open. You need to look after your partner and carry equal amounts of the workload and sometimes more when she needs it. Talk about when times get tough and how you will get through those times together. Its important, it could be the difference between ending up a single Dad or at home with your family. Go the later!!

Whats been your experience? any tips?

Filed Under: Dads Health, Fathering, Parenting, Relationships

What are you prepared to give up

11/11/2017 by Leave a Comment

Having kids should not be taken lightly. It would be the biggest most important decision anyone can make in their lifetime.

Bringing a child into the world requires a lifetime of intentional commitment, from the day they are born to when they reach adulthood and even then it does not guarantee they will be off your hands completely.  I felt a strong commitment to ensure that my child had all that they need to ensure a healthy lifestyle both mentally and physically.

Putting your child first is a good plan (it’s the only plan), it ensures that they go without little and decisions you make around housing and career have them top of mind. There were times when I could have accepted promotions which would have either caused me to work interstate or travel extensively. I didn’t have a partner that would have supported this so I could not have accepted the roles. I then found myself divorced and it made it even harder to travel because I needed to be available for my child on the days that were my days. I made sure that nothing got in the way of those days.

Taking that commitment to always be there and be available definitely hindered my career and social life.

I’d be invited away for a weekend that would be across the time I had my child over so I’d say no, I wouldn’t go out on a Friday night because I wanted to be fit and healthy for her on the Saturday morning when she would arrive. There were so many times I said no, looking back it cost me friendships and a healthy social life, but to me it was the price of putting my child first.

Thinking back, I could of had a more balanced life with social life and home life. So long as your children feel loved and cared for, you really can go and have some fun, and you should.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Relationships, Separation