Parallel Parenting: A Structured Alternative to Conflict

Co-parenting requires communication.

But when communication consistently escalates conflict, alternative strategies may be necessary.

Parallel parenting is designed to:

Key features include:

Parallel parenting acknowledges reality.

It recognises that not all former partners can cooperate effectively, structure can provide peace where goodwill cannot.

Fathers should understand that reducing conflict exposure is often in the child’s best interests.

Dads Online is supported by our Exclusive Family Law Partner, the Aston Legal Group, helping fathers implement structured and sustainable parenting arrangements. You can reach our to the Aston Legal Group by Clicking Here

Myth: Mothers Automatically Get Custody

This is one of the most persistent fears I hear from fathers

“The mother automatically gets custody.”

It creates panic.
It creates hesitation.
It causes some dads to disengage before they even seek advice.

Let’s clarify something.

Family law in Australia is centred on the best interests of the child — not gender.

Courts consider:
• The safety of the child
• The benefit of meaningful involvement from both parents
• The capacity of each parent to provide care
• Stability and emotional wellbeing

Being an involved, capable father absolutely matters.

However — and this is important — decisions made early in separation can impact outcomes.

Moving out suddenly.
Agreeing to arrangements informally.
Acting from fear rather than clarity.

These choices can create complications, that’s why understanding your position early is critical.

Not from social media commentary.
Not from a mate’s experience.

From informed legal advice tailored to your circumstances.

Don’t operate from outdated myths.

Operate from facts.

Dads Online is proud to be supported by our Exclusive Family Law Partner – Aston Legal Group, helping fathers understand their rights and responsibilities clearly and calmly, you can them contact here.

Your Kids Don’t Need the Adult Details

When separation happens, there’s often a strong urge to explain everything to your children.

To make sure they know your side.

  • To defend yourself.
  • To correct the story.
  • It’s human.

But here’s the reality:

Children don’t need adult details, they need emotional safety.
They don’t need to know who was right, they don’t need timelines, accusations, or context.

They need:

  • Stability
  • Reassurance
  • Predictability
  • Love from both parents

When we bring adult conflict into a child’s world, we increase their anxiety.

When we protect their peace, we increase their security.

One day, when they are older, they may understand the complexities.

But right now, their nervous systems are still developing, they don’t need to carry your emotional burden.

They need to feel safe in both homes.

That doesn’t mean you stay silent about serious concerns — it means you act wisely and seek the right guidance.

Separation is hard enough, protect their peace where you can.

Dads Online is supported by our Exclusive Family Law Partner – Aston Legal Group, providing calm and practical legal guidance when families are navigating change.

You’re Not Failing — You’re Adjusting

Separation changes the structure of your life, it does not remove your value as a father.
One of the most common things I hear from dads navigating separation is this quiet sentence:

“I feel like I’ve failed.”

Failed the relationship.
Failed the kids.
Failed the dream of how life was supposed to look.

But here’s something important. Life restructuring under pressure is not failure.

It’s adjustment.

You’re learning how to parent in two homes.
You’re navigating new financial pressures.
You’re managing emotions you never expected to feel — grief, anger, guilt, loneliness.

And yet… you’re still showing up.

That matters more than you realise. Your kids do not need a perfect family structure.

They need:
• Consistency
• Emotional safety
• A father who remains steady
• A dad who keeps turning up

Separation is a chapter, It is not your identity.

If you’re present, growing, and committed to your children — you are not failing, you are adapting, and adaptation is strength.

Dads Online is proud to be supported by our Exclusive Family Law Partner – Aston Legal Group, helping fathers make informed and steady decisions during uncertain seasons.

Preparing Your Family for the December 10 Social Media Age Change

Starting 10 December 2025, the Australian Government will enforce key changes to youth social media access. Platforms must take “reasonable steps” to prevent users under 16 from holding accounts. eSafety Commissioner+3eSafety Commissioner+3Cyber Safety Project+3 For parents, this presents a valuable chance to align family habits, build digital resilience, and start the conversation early.

Here are four practical ways to get ready:

1. Discuss How Monday’s Rule Looks for Your Family

Begin with an open conversation. Explain the upcoming law change and ask: What does this mean for us? Listen to your child’s thoughts and concerns. Define together how your household will adapt—for example, setting clean start dates or temporary sign-out rules before 10 December. Approach the topic as a shared mission rather than a punishment. It creates space to model responsible digital habits.

2. Define Device-Free Zones and Times

The law may focus on social accounts, but device balance remains essential. Map out device-free zones—such as no phones in bedrooms at night or during family meals. Introduce alternative activities like board games, reading or walking together. Having visible rules helps everyone manage screen time, reduces stress and normalises digital breaks.

3. Use Tools & Safety Guidelines Together

Visit official resources (e.g., eSafety Commissioner’s website) and review safety tools and settings side by side:

  • Enable screen-time limits or “downtime” modes.
  • Review privacy settings and setup two-factor authentication.
  • Agree on trusted contacts and how to report harmful content.

By exploring tools as a team, you transform the experience into empowerment—not enforcement—allowing your child to build confidence in navigating the digital world.

4. Model Balance & Prioritise Connection Over Correction

Kids learn by example. Show that you use devices intentionally—turn off notifications during dinner, enjoy outdoor time without screens, and prioritise face-to-face connection. When you find a lapse (yours or theirs), frame it as a team moment: “Let’s pause and reset.” This underscores the value of consistent routines and prioritises connection over correction.


✅ What’s Next?

Set a family check-in this week and ask: How will we handle December 10 together? Write down your agreed guidelines. Use the change as a chance to reinforce trust and build a healthier relationship with devices—not just for kids, but for your whole household.

Let this transition become a team effort: fewer screens, stronger bonds and wiser digital habits. You’ll be better prepared—and together your family will step into a safer, more connected future.

Do you want to be right, or maintain the relationship?

When you’re a dad—whether you’re navigating life post-divorce or figuring out how to connect with your adult kids—there’s a question you’ll likely come up against again and again:

It’s a humbling question. And it often shows up in the middle of conflict—when you’re misunderstood, when something feels unfair, or when you’re trying to communicate and all you’re met with is silence or resistance.

Pride vs. Peace

Let’s be honest: being right feels good. Especially when you’re confident in your values, your actions, or your intentions. But when you hold onto being “right” at all costs, you may find yourself losing something much more important—connection.

In relationships with an ex-partner, especially when co-parenting, it can be tempting to defend yourself, correct the record, or dig your heels in. With adult children, it might be over how they’re living their life, how they speak to you, or how they’ve interpreted past events.

The Power of Humility

You might feel like you’re not at fault. Maybe you weren’t the one who caused the issue. Maybe the misunderstanding really wasn’t your doing. But extending an apology or acknowledging someone else’s hurt—even when it’s hard—can be the bridge to healing.

That doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re strong enough to lead with humility. It means you’re prioritising connection over ego.

You might say:

  • “I can see how that made you feel, and I’m sorry for my part in that.”
  • “It wasn’t my intention, but I understand now how it came across.”
  • “I want us to move forward, and I’m willing to own what I can to make that happen.”

None of those statements mean you’re admitting guilt for something you didn’t do. You’re simply choosing the relationship over the argument.

Moving Forward

Relationships with an ex or adult children can be complex and emotionally charged. Sometimes they feel fragile. Other times, they feel stuck. But the way forward isn’t always through proving your point—it’s through patience, empathy, and humility.

So the next time you’re in a tough spot, ask yourself:
Do I want to be right? Or do I want to rebuild, reconnect, and move forward?

You may be surprised at how far a soft answer and a humble heart can go.


You’ve got this, Dad.
Sometimes leadership in the family isn’t about control—it’s about choosing peace, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Want more support? Connect with DadsOnline.com.au.


Coping strategies for children dealing with divorce

Divorce can be a difficult and stressful time for children, as it can disrupt their sense of stability and security. Here are some coping strategies that children can use to deal with divorce:

  1. Communicate their feelings

Encourage children to talk about their feelings and emotions surrounding the divorce. Allow them to express their emotions freely and without judgment, and validate their feelings by acknowledging them. This can help children feel heard and understood, and may help them process their emotions more effectively.

  1. Maintain routines

Maintaining routines can help children feel a sense of stability and normalcy during a time of change. Try to keep regular schedules for meals, bedtimes, and other daily activities as much as possible. This can help children feel more secure and less anxious.

  1. Stay connected with both parents

Children need to feel connected to both parents during and after a divorce. Encourage children to maintain regular contact with both parents, whether through phone calls, video chats, or in-person visits. This can help children feel supported and loved by both parents.

  1. Seek support from family and friends

Children may benefit from seeking support from family members, friends, or other trusted adults during a divorce. These individuals can provide emotional support, a listening ear, and a sense of stability during a time of change.

  1. Take care of themselves

Encourage children to take care of themselves during a divorce. This includes eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, and engaging in physical activity. It can also include engaging in self-care activities, such as reading, drawing, or spending time with friends.

  1. Seek professional support if needed

If children are struggling to cope with the divorce, or if their emotional or behavioral problems persist, it may be helpful to seek professional support from a counsellor. These professionals can provide additional support and guidance on coping strategies and emotional regulation techniques.

It is important to remember that every child is different, and may cope with divorce in their own way. Encouraging open communication, maintaining routines, staying connected with both parents, seeking support from family and friends, taking care of themselves, and seeking professional support if needed, are all strategies that can help children navigate the challenges of divorce and move forward in a positive and healthy way.

Co-Parenting Tips: Maintaining a Healthy Relationship with Your Children

The sun’s warm embrace filtered through the curtains of Mark’s living room, casting a soft glow over the space. As he sat at the dining table, sipping his morning coffee, his mind wandered to the days when family breakfasts had been a cherished routine. Divorce had redefined his family dynamic, but one thing remained constant: his unwavering commitment to maintaining a healthy relationship with his children through effective co-parenting.

Mark had always believed that a strong bond with his children was paramount, even in the face of separation. He recognized that co-parenting was an opportunity to provide stability and love during a time of upheaval. Drawing from his own experiences and countless conversations with other co-parents, Mark had distilled a set of co-parenting tips that not only helped him navigate the challenges but also nurtured a thriving connection with his children.

1. Open and Honest Communication: Communication was the cornerstone of successful co-parenting. Mark established an open channel of dialogue with his ex-wife, Lisa. They scheduled regular check-ins to discuss their children’s well-being, school updates, and any concerns. By fostering transparent communication, Mark and Lisa ensured their children received consistent messages and felt secure in their shared commitment.

2. Prioritizing the Children’s Needs: Mark understood that their children’s needs were paramount. Every decision was made with their best interests at heart, from scheduling visitations to important life decisions. By focusing on what was best for the kids, Mark and Lisa created an environment where their children felt valued and supported.

3. Creating a Consistent Routine: Stability provided a sense of security for the children. Mark and Lisa collaborated to establish a consistent routine that spanned both households. Bedtimes, meal schedules, and extracurricular activities mirrored each other as closely as possible, minimizing disruptions and helping the kids adjust to their new normal.

4. Unified Co-Parenting Strategy: Mark and Lisa presented a united front, even when their own emotions threatened to cloud their judgment. They agreed on essential parenting principles, disciplinary measures, and values, presenting a harmonious co-parenting front that reinforced their children’s sense of stability.

5. Embracing Flexibility: While structure was crucial, Mark also recognized the importance of flexibility. He and Lisa remained adaptable to the changing needs and circumstances of their children. Unexpected events arose, and they collaborated to find solutions that accommodated both parents’ schedules.

6. Respectful Co-Parenting Boundaries: Boundaries were essential to maintaining a healthy co-parenting relationship. Mark and Lisa respected each other’s personal space and refrained from involving the children in adult matters. They ensured their interactions were courteous and focused on parenting matters only.

7. Celebrating Milestones Together: Mark and Lisa set aside their differences to celebrate important milestones in their children’s lives. From birthdays to school achievements, they attended events together, sending a powerful message of unity and love to their children.

8. Encouraging Positive Interaction: Mark went the extra mile to encourage positive interactions between his children and Lisa. He praised their mother’s strengths and supported their relationship with her, fostering an environment where the children felt safe expressing their emotions and maintaining a strong bond with both parents.

9. Flexing Empathy Muscles: Empathy was a powerful tool in Mark’s co-parenting arsenal. He constantly put himself in his children’s shoes, recognizing the challenges they faced as they adapted to their new reality. This empathy guided his decisions, ensuring he remained sensitive to their emotions.

10. Seeking Professional Guidance: Mark acknowledged that co-parenting was complex, and seeking guidance from a family therapist was a wise move. The therapist provided them with strategies for effective co-parenting, helping them navigate difficult conversations and emotions.

As the morning sun bathed the room in warmth, Mark felt a profound sense of gratitude for the co-parenting journey he had undertaken. His children’s laughter echoed in his memories, a testament to the dedication he had poured into nurturing their relationship. Mark’s co-parenting tips had not only helped him forge a strong bond with his children but also empowered him to face the challenges of divorce with grace and resilience. As he looked ahead, Mark was confident that the lessons he had learned would continue to shape his co-parenting journey, ensuring his children grew up in an environment filled with love, understanding, and unwavering support.

He was a father desperate to see his daughter, not the criminal he was.

Watch this powerful real story and listen to the effects and consequences of parental alienation.

Parental alienation refers to a situation in which one parent attempts to manipulate or influence a child’s feelings, thoughts, and behaviours to turn them against the other parent, often during or after a divorce or separation. It typically involves one parent (the alienating parent) engaging in behaviours that undermine the child’s relationship with the other parent (the target parent) with the intention of creating distance, hostility, or estrangement between the child and the target parent. These behaviours can take various forms, including:

  • Negative Talk: The alienating parent may consistently speak negatively about the target parent, portraying them as bad, dangerous, or uncaring. They might make false accusations or exaggerated claims to damage the child’s perception of the other parent.
  • Limiting Contact: The alienating parent may attempt to restrict or interfere with the child’s access to the target parent. This can involve withholding visitation, interfering with phone calls or communication, or failing to cooperate with parenting schedules.
  • Sabotaging the Relationship: Some alienating parents may create situations designed to sabotage the child’s time with the target parent, such as scheduling conflicting activities or appointments during visitation times.
  • Alienating Behaviour: The alienating parent may encourage the child to reject or resist the target parent, even when the child initially wants to maintain a relationship with both parents. This can involve emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, or bribery.
  • False Allegations: Allegations of abuse, neglect, or other serious misconduct against the target parent, without evidence or validity, are sometimes used to manipulate the child and the legal system.

Parental alienation is considered harmful to children because it can lead to emotional and psychological distress. It can also have long-lasting negative effects on the child’s relationship with the target parent, their self-esteem, and their overall well-being. Courts and mental health professionals often address parental alienation in custody disputes by attempting to assess the situation, provide therapy or counselling, and establish strategies to rebuild and maintain a healthy relationship between the child and the target parent.

It’s important to note that parental alienation is a complex issue, and allegations of alienation should be carefully examined and substantiated before any actions are taken. Legal and mental health professionals play crucial roles in evaluating and addressing cases of parental alienation to ensure the best interests of the child are upheld.

What is “love” defined by kids

A survey was conducted at a primary school where children between the ages of 4-8 were asked “what is love”.  The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

Such a simple question, this is what they said…

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.  So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”

– Rebecca – age 8

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.  You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”

– Billy – age 4

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”

– Karl – age 5

“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.”

– Chrissy – age 6

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”

– Terri – age 4

“Love is when my my daddy makes me breakfast every morning”

– Ian – age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss”

– Emily – age 8

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”

– Bobby – age 7

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.”

– Nikka – age 6  (we need a few million more Nikkas on this planet)

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.”

– Noelle – age 7

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.”

– Tommy – age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared.  I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”

– Cindy – age 8

“My daddy loves me more than anybody.
He reads to me.”

– Clare – age 6

“Love is when my Daddy gives me the best piece of chicken.”

– Elaine-age 5

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”

– Mary Ann – age 4

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.”

– Lauren – age 4

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.”

– Karen – age 7

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.”

– Jessica – age 8

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These quotes were sent to GreatDad.com in an email without attribution. If this is your content, please let us know so we can post the source. Thanks.

Truth and Lies about the effects of Domestic Family Violence on Children

When people think of domestic and family violence, they often think of how much it hurts the adult victim. It’s true that domestic and family violence is most often violent, abusive or intimidating behaviour. But what you may not realise is that children also experience domestic violence and this affects their physical and emotional health and wellbeing. Growing up in a family where there is a perpetrator of Domestic Violence can cause serious long term mental health issues for the children of that home.

At Lifeline, Crisis Support Workers often talk to people who call up with anxiety, they are homeless, have been seeing a psychiatrist for their whole adult life, drug and have alcohol or drug addiction or both, depression, self harm, thoughts of suicide and social behavioural problems just to name a few!

Their life has been and is in crisis and there always seems to be a common threat to their background – they have grown up inside a home with Domestic Violence &/or Coercive Control towards a parent or even towards them.

Lets look at the Lies and the Truths about Domestic Family Violence…

LIES

  • It doesn’t effect the kids
  • The children will forget about it
  • The children are too young to understand what’s going on
  • Kids effected by DFV will always bounce back and get over it
  • Talking to kids about it will not help
  • Talking to kids about it will only confuse them
  • The perpetrator is good to the kids so they’ll be ok
  • So long as the children are not hit they’ll be ok
  • It won’t affect their education and development
  • It’ll teach the kids to be strong and tough
  • Life’s alway good when you are a kid
  • It’s part of our culture
  • It’s normal and acceptable
  • The violence is a way to show love

TRUTHS

  • It happens in all communities and at all levels of society
  • It can seriously harm children physically and emotionally
  • It can impact on babies and infants
  • Kids are affected even if they don’t see the violence
  • It prevents kids from feel safe
  • It can interfere with a Childs developments and education
  • It can affect a Childs relationship with other people
  • It can give kids nightmares, headaches, stomach pains and regular sickness
  • It damages a Childs self-esteem and confidence
  • Children often believe its their fault
  • It can lead to substance abuse in young people
  • Children can mirror that behaviour in their adult life
  • Talking about the problems with kids can help them
  • Effects on a child are reversible with the right help and support
  • There are services that can help children and families

Some useful Links

 

Parenting Plan (happy plan)

Many children worry about what will happen to them when their parents split up, and it can be a big relief to them if the arrangements become clear and predictable early on.  Working out a parenting plan as early and as quickly as possible serves many purposes such as it gets your children into a regular routine, you can have certainty around access, holidays, do we share in the buying of gifts and presents, do we share clothes etc.

Being as flexible as possible is a key factor in working out a fair and reasonable plan.  Whatever your parenting plan looks like it doesn’t have to be written down, but if you do write it down calling it a parenting plan is a good way to do it.  I called mine our “Happy Plan”, I wrote out a nice well written check list of the things and considerations I believed would be fair and reasonable for both of us.

After my ex had time to read and consider the plan, she then wrote one of her own (with some minor tweaks) and provided me with her version to consider.  It was pretty close to what I was asking for and we agreed we would use that as our agreed plan.  Everyone’s circumstances are very different and it can play a huge part in what the plan might look like, for example your work commitments, distance to travel, financial, accommodation and health etc.

Some things to consider and help you with ideas that could go into your plan:

  • What time your children will spend with each of you
  • What time your children will spend with other people, such as grandparents , siblings, step-parents or other people that are important to your children
  • What activities each of you will do with your children (e.g sports, homework, music) and whether both of you can agree to attend some important events with your children
  • How you will share parental responsibility and decision making about the big things (e.g what school your children will go to, decisions about healthcare )
  • How you will talk about and come to agreement on the important, long-term issues as your children grow, their needs change or either of the parent’s circumstances change.
  • How your children will keep in touch with the other parent and other people important to your children when they are with you i.e they have access at all times to use your mobile phone and can phone the other parent every night before bedtime
  • What arrangements need to be made for special occasions such as birthdays, religious or cultural events, holidays, school concerts, parent teacher interviews
  • Financial arrangements for the children. This may include some investigation on what payments you need to make and what is deemed fair, you can calculate this by visiting the Child Support Agency estimator.  These payments do not need to go through CSA and they can be paid to either party by private arrangements.
  • What process will be followed to change the plan or resolve any problems, if either parents circumstances change?

There are no strict rules around what a parenting Plan should look like but here are some other guidelines from Family Relationships Australia

Time spent on researching and designing one that works for you, your ex and your kids, will pay off in spades!