Can Text Messages Be Used in Family Court?

There’s a moment a lot of dads have after they’ve sent a message during separation.

You know the one.

You’ve been arguing, you’re frustrated, you type something you probably wouldn’t say face-to-face.

You hit send.

Then ten minutes later you think, “Why did I send that?”

The next question is usually:

“Can she use that against me?”

It’s an understandable worry.

And the honest answer is that communications can potentially become relevant in family law proceedings, depending on the circumstances and what they’re being used to establish.

But it’s not as simple as saying, “One bad text message and you’re finished”, Family law cases are decided on the evidence and circumstances of the particular matter.

Your messages tell a story

One message doesn’t necessarily tell the whole story, a conversation might contain dozens of messages.

There may be context around what was happening at the time and there may be messages from both sides, there may also be other evidence that puts the conversation into perspective.

That’s why it’s dangerous to look at a single screenshot and assume you know what a Court will make of it, at the same time, it’s a good reason to think carefully about how you communicate.

It isn’t just text messages

Emails and documents can be relevant along with Social media posts can also create problems.

And there are specific legal restrictions around publishing material that could identify people involved in family law proceedings.

That’s something people sometimes forget, because you might think you’re simply venting to your Facebook friends, but once something is online, you don’t have the same control over where it goes.

Don’t try to rewrite history

If you’re worried about something you’ve already written, don’t start deleting things or trying to manufacture a better-looking history, that’s something to discuss with your lawyer.

If you’re involved in a dispute, keep the relevant information and get advice about what should happen with it.

The Court has systems for dealing with documents and evidence, and parties are expected to provide material in accordance with the applicable rules and directions.

The best message is often the one you don’t send

This is probably the simplest lesson.

If you’re angry or upset, wait.

If you’re sitting there typing a message because you desperately want your ex to understand your side of the story, maybe put the phone down.

Go for a walk.

Talk to someone.

Come back to it later.

You may decide the message still needs to be sent.

But there’s a good chance you’ll word it differently.

A final thought

Nobody gets through separation without saying something they wish they’d said differently.

We’re human.