Many fathers assume equal time is the legal default.

It isn’t automatic.

Australian family law focuses on the best interests of the child.

Courts consider:
• The benefit of a meaningful relationship with both parents
• The need to protect children from harm
• Practicality of arrangements
• The parents’ ability to communicate and cooperate

Equal shared parental responsibility relates to major decision-making — not automatically equal time.

Equal time is considered where:
• It is reasonably practicable
• It supports the child’s wellbeing
• Parents can manage communication effectively

For many families, 50/50 works very well.

For others, different arrangements may better support schooling, routines, or the child’s age and development.

Preparation matters | Your communication matters | Your conduct matters.

Dads Online is supported by Aston Legal Group — our Exclusive Family Law Partner — providing experienced family law guidance to fathers who want to protect their parenting role while remaining child-focused. You can reach out to the Action Legal Group by Clicking Here

Informed decisions create stable futures.

Few topics generate as much tension during separation as child support.

Emotion often overrides understanding.

Let’s clarify the basics.

Child support exists to contribute to the costs associated with raising children.

It is not:

• A penalty
• A reward system
• A reflection of parental value

In Australia, child support is calculated using:

• Each parent’s income
• The percentage of care
• The number and ages of children

Understanding the formula reduces misinformation.

Financial planning during separation is critical. When dads clearly understand their obligations, they are better positioned to:

• Budget effectively
• Reduce conflict
• Focus on parenting rather than resentment

Knowledge replaces assumption.

Dads Online is proudly supported by our Exclusive Family Law Partner, the Aston Legal Group providing practical guidance to fathers navigating financial responsibilities after separation. You can contact the Aston Legal Group here.

Many fathers fear that separation automatically leads to court.

In reality, most family law matters begin with mediation.

Mediation (Family Dispute Resolution) is designed to:

• Encourage cooperative negotiation
• Focus on children’s best interests
• Avoid lengthy court proceedings
• Reduce legal costs

However, mediation is not always suitable.

Court may become necessary when:

• There are safety concerns
• One party refuses to engage
• Agreements repeatedly break down

The important factor is timing.

Seeking early legal advice does not mean escalating conflict.

It means understanding your options.

When fathers delay clarity, they often make informal arrangements that later complicate outcomes.

Strategic patience is different from inaction.

Know your rights.
Understand the process.
Act thoughtfully.

Dads Online is supported by our Exclusive Family Law Partner, the Aston Legal Group. committed to helping fathers navigate family law with confidence. You can contact the Aston Legal Group here.

Separation does not just change your legal status.

It changes your environment.

For many fathers, the most confronting part of separation is not conflict — it is silence.

• The absence of children in the home.
• The change in daily rhythm.
• The sudden quiet.

Loneliness can creep in unexpectedly.

It is important to understand something:

Loneliness is not weakness.

It is a natural psychological response to change.

The danger is not feeling lonely, the danger is isolating.

Healthy responses include:

• Re-establishing routine
• Reconnecting with trusted friends
• Focusing on physical health
• Setting personal development goals
• Seeking professional guidance if needed

Separation is disorienting but it is also an opportunity to rebuild intentionally.

Strong fathers do not ignore their emotional health.

They work at managing it.

Dads Online is proudly supported by our Exclusive Family Law Partner, the Aston Legal Group, providing steady guidance during transitional seasons. You can contact the Aston Legal Group here.

One of the most damaging beliefs fathers carry into separation is this:

If we can’t get along, Ive failed as a co-parent

That isn’t true.

Co-parenting does not require friendship.
It requires maturity.

• There will be tension.
• There will be disagreements.
• There may still be unresolved hurt

But your children do not need two parents who are close friends.

They need two adults who prioritise stability.

Effective co-parenting means:

• Keeping communication child-focused
• Not reacting emotionally to every disagreement
• Avoiding criticism in front of the children
• Respecting boundaries
• Making decisions based on long-term outcomes, not short-term emotion

Children are deeply perceptive.

They learn from how you handle stress.

When you remain steady, you are teaching resilience.

When you choose composure, you are modelling emotional intelligence.

You do not need to approve of everything your former partner does.

You need to ensure your behaviour reflects strength and consistency.

That is a self aware father.

Dads Online is supported by our Exclusive Family Law Partner, the Aston Legal Group. Committed to helping fathers navigate co-parenting with clarity and confidence. You can contact Aston Legal Group here

The perfect soup to cook up for a tasty healthy meal.
I am batching it this week but if my partner and daughter were here Im sure they would be asking for seconds!
Its not to heavy, has plenty of goodness and you you don’t mind me saying, it was bloody delicious.

Serves: about 6 people, takes approx. 15 min to prepare and about 40 minutes to cook.

Ingredients

• 2 table spoons of olive oil into a large stockpot
• 1 large onion diced
• 1 leek – white part only diced
• 1 medium size carrot diced
• half a small sweet potato
• 1 large white washed potato peeled
• 1 small fresh chilli thinly diced
• half a teaspoon of crushed garlic chopped or dried garlic granules
• half a teaspoon of ground coriander
• 1 teaspoon of ground cumin
• half teaspoon of ground nutmeg
• 1kg pealed pumpkin chopped
• 1L of vegetable stock
• half a cup of standard cream to service – optional

Method

Heat the olive oil into large stockpot saucepan
Add the chopped onion, leek and garlic and cook while stirring for 3 minutes (to soften but not to colour)
Once onion and leek have softened, add and stir in the coriander, cumin and nutmeg.
Add the chopped pumpkin, potato, carrot, sweet potato and 1L of vegetable stock.
Bring to boil then let simmer for 30 minutes.
Allow to cool and blend in portions.

Note: The potato helps makes the soup creamier. If you want it to be extra creamy you can add the cream when serving.

There isn’t much more satisfying than to make food for your family and they love it. Having my daughter half the time over the last 12 years I have come to really enjoy cooking for her and this Banana Cake is a winner.

We have our favourites i.e. Lasagna, Chicken Casserole, Chicken Schnitzels, Toasties, Spaghetti Bol, BBQ Mash and Vegetables. I have also enjoyed making deserts like Chocolate Mouse, I’ll share that recipe next time I make it.

See below a Banana Cake Recipe that I baked today, its moist and not to sweet with a tasty icing. It was quite a large cake and it took about 1 1/2 hours to cook in my oven. I would suggest you set the timer for 1 hour, then keep checking every 15 minutes until the wooden skewer comes out clean.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 ¹⁄₂ cups bananas, mashed, ripe
• 2 teaspoons lemon juice
• 3 cups flour
• 1 ¹⁄₂ teaspoons baking soda
• ¹⁄₄ teaspoon salt
• ³⁄₄ cup butter, softened
• 2 ¹⁄₈ cups sugar
• 3 large eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla
• 1 ¹⁄₂ cups buttermilk

DIRECTIONS

• Preheat oven to 275°F (135C).
• Grease and flour a 9 x 13 cake tin.
• In a small bowl, mashed the banana with the lemon juice; set aside.
• In a medium bowl, mix self-raising flour, baking soda and salt; set aside.
• In a large bowl, add 3/4 cup butter and 2 1/8 cups sugar until light and fluffy (I use a Kenwood mixer)
• Mix in eggs, one at a time, then stir in 2 tsp vanilla. Crack the eggs in a separate bowl, then drop into mixing bowl.
• Mix in the flour mixture alternately with the buttermilk.
• Stir in banana mixture.
• Pour batter into prepared pan and bake in preheated oven for one hour or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.
• Remove from oven and could place in the fridge to cool down or just on the bench before icing.
• For the frosting, mix the butter and cream cheese together until smooth.
• Mix in 1 teaspoon vanilla.
• Add icing sugar and mix on low speed until combined, then on high speed until icing is smooth.
• Spread on top of cooled cake.
• Sprinkle chopped walnuts over top of the frosting, if you would like this, its add a little crunch.

The more we have lockdowns the more it can be affecting your teenagers mental health.
There is suffering in enormous numbers and Dads you need to be concerned and do what you can to help your teenagers get through these challenging lockdowns.

We don’t know how long this is going to last for or if we will be in lockdowns again? It’s important to remember that every one of your sons or daughters handles stress and anxiety differently, if you teenager is already challenged with mental health issues then all of what’s happening will be amplified.

All families handle stress differently and during lockdowns its particularly important to introduce or maintain your family routines. All children strive in an environment where there is predictability and routine, its helps them stay grounded.

And we all need to feel grounded instead of this in and out of lockdown with restrictions. I feel so bad for teenagers, they have had a disrupted education and had to swap to online learning, missing out on key celebrations, isolated from friends, social events and general freedoms.

You might see some changes in behaviour such as, mood swings, withdrawn, lack of motivation, a change in sleeping or eating patterns. Somethings in particular when you child becomes withdrawn we can worry and over compensate by wanting too much of their time. Keep communication open while you still give them space.

Things we can do to help get our sons and daughters through tough times – and remember these times will end!

• Encourage communication with their friends group
• Keep them in touch with family via phone or video catch-ups
• Have routine jobs around the house that they do
• Walk the dog
• Encourage routine walks
• Anything to do with outside activity
• A weekly night where they plan and cook dinner
• Take up a new hobby i.e. adult colouring books
• A weekly movie night for everyone including popcorn
• Help them organise a counsellor to talk too, has proven to be a positive experience for young people
• Have a nice scent in the house with a scented candle
• Make these things and activities a routine

What has worked in your home? We would love to know, please share by making a comment below.

Support groups for young people and teenagers are listed below…

Kids Helpline

1800 55 1800

Free, confidential counselling service available any time of the day or night by phone or webchat.

Beyond Blue

1300 22 4636

Call or chat online with a trained mental health professional any time of the day or night.

Headspace

1800 650 890

Online and telephone support service that helps young people who don’t feel ready to attend a headspace centre or who prefer to talk about their problems via online chat, email or on the phone.

Online forums

Beyond Blue

The Beyond Blue forums are a supportive place to connect with people who are going through similar experiences to you. You can read other people’s stories, ask for advice or share your own experience.

Reach Out

ReachOut Forums is a supportive, safe and anonymous space where people care about what’s happening for you, because they’ve been there too.

Websites

Reach Out

Use ReachOut.com to figure things out and make life better. The website offers information and other resources designed specifically for young people.

Kids Helpline

The website has information and services to support young people through any problems – big or small.

Headspace

The website has information and services to support a young person going through a tough time.

Children of Parents with a Mental Illness (COPMI)

Having a parent with a mental illness can be tough. But COPMI have a lot of information and videos to help you get your head around it all.

Support centres

headspace centres

If you need support, advice or just someone to talk to about a life problem, you can visit a headspace centre located around Australia and talk to mental health professional within a confidential and safe environment. Some centres also have specialist workers like Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander health workers and family therapists. Call your closest headspace centre to make an appointment.

Online programs and apps

Bite Back

BITE BACK is a free, self-guided online wellbeing and resilience program for young people aged 13–16 years old. It uses a combination of fun, interactive activities, quizzes, animations and information across nine positive psychology domains including gratitude, optimism, flow, meaning, hope, mindfulness, character strengths, healthy lifestyle, and positive relationships.

Brave Program

The BRAVE Program is an interactive, online program for the prevention and treatment of childhood and adolescent anxiety. The programs are free, and provide ways for children and teenagers to better cope with their worries.

MoodGYM

This free, fun, interactive program helps you identify and overcome problem emotions and shows you how to develop good coping skills for the future.

 

So pleased we are back up and running after being classed a dangerous site by Google. Here’s how it happened…
2 month ago I suddenly started receiving thousands of email bounce backs in my inbox.
Investigating it, I found out through our hosting company that we didn’t have a “reCAPTCHA” on my Contacts Us page which somehow allowed the hackers (criminals) to use our contact us page to send out thousands of emails? go figure?

Then suddenly the domain name dadsonline.com.au was showing content for an Olive Oil company in Canada?
Our email inbox become unusable, we ended up paying for our hosting company Crazy Hosting for advance tech support where they were very helpful in guiding me to fix issues including changing passwords,  I had over 1500 people logged into Dads Online as a user.

After changing passwords, deleting all dodgy users, I finally felt like we were regaining our site back,  then, I was notified by Darren Lewis from Fathering Adventures saying he could not connect the Dads Online? It was showing a red Google Dangerous website notice.

I was unaware that someone had placed some code within the site which was spamming out emails to thousands of people using our email address. It was really terrible. When thinking about who had access in the last few months, I thought of Fivver, a site for freelancers. I used this site to find a WordPress developer to set up the Google Analytics (GA). I gave my login details to a developer who did set up GA but then all this happened afterwards, he had a 5 star reviews and I felt safe at the time of choosing him.

But i have to question… did my login details get distributed to online criminals? Was the developers security protocols not strong enough and leaked my logins? I don’t know? but strangely all this happened when I used this GA developer.

Finally, I had a local digital agency sweep and clean the site for links, codes and anything that Google would deem Dads Online to be dangerous. Still working to get GA configured properly but we are now classed as a “Safe” site by Google.

We are now looking forward again to providing all the wonderful Dads, Ideas, Tips, Information on Dads Health, Separation, Parenting, Self Care, Meals  support in way of useful blogs, online chat and podcasts.

Its great to be back, trust you have all been well during these crazy times of Covid lockdowns, don’t forget to visit our live chat bubble on the page (don’t be shy) and lets chat.

 

Best wishes

Peter

Coercive control refers to a pattern of controlling behaviors that create an unequal power dynamic in a relationship. These behaviors give the perpetrator power over their partner, making it difficult for them to leave. Sometimes, coercive control can escalate into physical abuse and sometimes not. Coercive Control does not need to involve physical violence.

SIGNS OF COERCIVE CONTROL

Monitoring and spying

A person may exert power and control by choosing and influencing what someone wears, where they go, who they go out with, and what activities they take part in. The controlling person may also demand or get access to the partner’s computer, mobile phone, or email account.

They might even put a tracing device in their vehicle or a hidden camera in their homer.

Gaining Financial Control

This happens when a person has control over someone’s access to money and does not allow them to make financial decisions. Having someone control your money and finances can leave a person without food or clothing and make it harder for them to leave the relationship.

Isolating their Partner

A controlling person may try to get their partner to reduce or sever contact with family and friends so that they are easier to control and less people know of their coercive behaviour.

They could also prevent them from going to work or school.

Humiliation and Insulting

Gaslighting and constant insults to undermine a person’s self-esteem. This can involve name-calling, highlighting a person’s insecurities, or putting them down. Eventually, the person experiencing this abuse starts to believe it and feel they deserve the insults

Threats and Intimidation

Perpetrators of Coercive Control can make threats that include physical violence, self-harm, or public humiliation. For example, a person trying to control their partner may threaten to hurt themselves or kill themself if their partner tries to leave or publish sexually explicit images or personal data online.

This person may also smash items around the home or their partner’s sentimental belongings in an attempt to intimidate and scare them.

Sexual Coercion

This occurs when the perpetrator manipulates their partner into unwanted sexual activity. They may use pressure, threats, guilt-tripping, lies, or other trickery to coerce them into having sex.

Using Children or Pets

The perpetrator may use children or family pets as an avenue of controlling their partner. They could do this by threatening the children or pets, or threatening to take sole custody of them if their partner leaves.

They may also manipulate children by telling lies to attempt to get them to dislike the other parent.

What can we do?

Dads, as you can see there are so many ways someone can try to exert Power and Control over their partner. They say, these types of people have learnt it from their up bringing and role models.

It’s so important that we are not the teaches to our children on domestic violence, but from a young age we teach our children respect and nurturing behaviours of other people. Boys can not grow up thinking they can control girls, like; girls can’t have other male friends if you are darting them, or they can’t wear what they like to a party etc. Equality has never been so important and we need to be their role model. It can start young, if you see your son demonstrating signs of coercive control, pull them ups and teach them the right way to treat people and how to behave.

No one deserves to live in a relationship that their partner has coercive control over them, it is domestic violence.

If you know someone in a relationship like this, help them and direct them to some professional help:

• 1800RESPECT 1800737732
• Lifeline 131114
• Mens Referral Service 1300766491
• Emergency Services 000
• Domestic Violence Help Line 1800811811
• Support for Families 1300364277
• Support for Kids 1800551800
• Support for people with disabilities 1800880052
• Your local doctor