Children Archives - Page 6 of 7

Protecting our kids from social media hackers

12/01/2013 by DO 1 Comment

hacker safety The hacking of mass accounts on a social network is something that seems to be happening a great deal recently, with LinkedIn being the latest victim, after having 6.5m of its users passwords stolen.

Prior to LinkedIn, Twitter suffered a similar hack, and Facebook did too.

Social media profiles have become the target of social media hackers who use that data to further spread their maliciousness or gain access to your more sensitive data. It is always worth remembering that you can become a victim at any time. Not a day goes by when we don’t hear about a new hack, and with 55,000 new pieces of malware generated a day, security never sleeps.

With the latest security threat to LinkedIn fresh in our minds, here are 10 key social media security tips.

1. Think before you post! Status updates, photos, and comments can end up revealing more about you than you intended to disclose, and you could end up feeling like some silly politician as you struggle to explain yourself.

2. Think twice about allowing applications that request permission to access your data. You will be allowing an unknown party to send you email, post to your wall, and access your information at any time, regardless of whether you’re using the application. Before you decide if you want to allow the application access, make sure you know exactly what the application is!

3. Don’t click on short links that don’t clearly show the link location. With URL shorteners like bit.ly (and many more) are becoming increasingly common, it’s easy to forget that such URL’s can also be used by criminals to dupe you. Criminals often post phony links that claim to show you who has been viewing your profile. If you’re unsure about a link, you can test unknown links at SiteAdvisor by simply pasting the link into the “View a Site Report” form on the right-hand side of the page. Alternatively, if you use Hootsuite, you can see the extended URL or a shortened link by simply clicking the ‘+’ sign next to the shortened URL.

4. Beware of posts with subjects along the lines of, “LOL! Look at the video I found of you online!” When you click the link, you often get a message saying that you need to upgrade your video player in order to see the clip, but when you attempt to download the “upgrade,” the malicious page will instead install malware that tracks and steals your data.

5. Geolocation apps such as Foursquare share your exact location, which can also let criminals know that you aren’t home, so reconsider broadcasting exactly where you are. Remember, apps like Foursquare still allow you to gain check-in points without having to disclose your location on your Facebook and Twitter accounts.

6. Always use an up-to-date browser. Older browsers tend to have more security flaws, and it is very simple and quick to update your browser to the latest version. Firefox is becoming the preferred brower to use when surfing the net, you can download it for free here: http://www.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/new/

7. Choose unique logins and passwords for each of the websites you use. Yes, it’s a bit of a hassle to have different passwords for EVERY site you use, but it’s the best way to limit your exposure if (and probably when) a particular site you use gets hacked. I’m a big fan of password managers, which can create and store secure passwords for you.

8. Check the domain of the website to be sure that you’re logging into a legitimate website. So if you’re visiting a Facebook page from a link in an email, make sure the URL of the site is actually ‘www.facebook.com’ and not a site which looks like Facebook. Hackers often duplicate websites with the exact same design, and once you log into their fake site, they have your real login and password within seconds. This principle also applies to online banking websites, so be extra careful!

9. Be cautious of any message, post, or link you find on a social network that looks at all suspicious or requires to login again once you’re already logged in.

10. Make sure your security suite is up to date and includes antivirus, anti-spyware, anti-spam, a firewall, and a website safety advisor.

BONUS TIP: Take the time to understand your privacy settings! Select the most secure options and check periodically for changes that can open up your profile to the public. Facebook is renowned for continually changing its layout and one such change could result in information that was once private, now being public!

Have you ever had in social media security issues? Or do you have any additional tips? Let us know?

Filed Under: Children, Kids Health, Parenting

Steady as you go

27/11/2012 by DO 1 Comment

daily routine When you are going through a separation you are obviously going to be concerned about the effect that it has on your children. Everyone’s lives have suddenly been turned upside down and everything that we are used to is changing. It can be a very unsettling time for our children, as well as you, so steady as you go, it is important that the children keep a sense of security and familiarity. Creating and maintaining routines can help to do this and also help you and your ex to find a new way of looking after your children.

Why Routines Are Good

Routines give children a sense of safety and security. Children experiencing a separation can feel like their whole lives are falling apart so the routine they have, the better. Establishing routine visitation will help them deal with the separation as will know when to expect to see you again. Maintaining the same daily routine, whether they are with their mother or you, will help ease the transition.

Daily Routine

From the moment that children are babies, establishing a daily routine is a highly beneficial. Children react well to boundaries and knowing what to expect. It can also help with their mental and physical health and sleep patterns. When your child is with you it can be tempting to score points by letting them stay up late or eat lunch in the afternoon, but it is important to maintain their normal routine.

Routine Visitation

Hopefully, you have been able to come to an agreement about visitation. This is not only a good thing for you but also for your children. They will be filled with uncertainty when you no longer live with them and it is important to make then feel as secure as possible. By establishing a regular access pattern they will know that you are still a constant part of their lives.

Discussing Routines with Your Ex

In an ideal world you would be able to have a mature, constructive conversation with your ex whenever necessary. Unfortunately, this is not always the case but you both need to work hard to maintain a good relationship for the sake of the children. Building and breaking routines should not be about control or points scoring, it is about the best interests of your children. There may be legitimate reasons why a routine needs to be changed and you should be able to openly discuss this.

Fortunately I have a good parenting relationship with my ex, If something comes up and I can’t have my child on a certain weekend then I forfeit that weekend and pick up the next one scheduled, this applies to her also. At first this was quiet confronting as it means you will miss two weekends in a row (if you are fortnightly) without swapping but in reality, it works perfectly because I can note on a calendar in pen my days and weekends for the year and they never change. If you are having trouble, consider some Mediation help to get you on the right track.

We acknowledge http://www.separateddads.co.uk/ for some of this content.

Filed Under: Children, Dads Health, Kids Health, Separation

To change or not to change….. that is the question

22/10/2012 by DO 39 Comments

As we know the norm has been that when children are born they take on the fathers surname. After divorce, women sometimes change their name back to their maiden name or if they remarry, may change their surname to their new partners surname.

If our children are with us every second weekend, this can then lead to questions and requests around changing the child’s surname too. Each individual situation is different and you will need to agree or not as your authorization signature is required on the Declaration to Change the Name of a Child from the Births, Deaths and Marriages Registry. I allowed my daughters name to be changed as my ex wife remarried and had another two daughters in that marriage and it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Today, looking back, I wish I had not agreed as it is another loss of connection. So my suggestion is to consider carefully.

How is the name changed?

A child’s name can be changed if both parents and the child agree. If the child is too young to understand, the parents can still change the name by both filling in a Declaration to Change the Name of a Child from the Births, Deaths and Marriages Registry.

If one parent wants to change a child’s name but the other disagrees, the State Magistrates Court can decide. The non-consenting parent can tell the court why they think the child’s name should not be changed. The court will make a decision based on what it believes is best for the child. Even where the court makes an order authorizing the change of name of a child, the change must still be registered at the Births, Deaths and Marriages Registry to be effective.

Filed Under: Children, Dads Health, Daughters, Separation, Sons

3 Places in Sydney Your Kids are Sure to Love

20/10/2012 by DO Leave a Comment

I have to tell you I am biting my fingernails down to the quick trying to narrow this list down to three. There are just so many super fun things for kids to do in Sydney. There are animals galore and so many beautiful parks and playgrounds. Some of which adjoin the amazing beaches. I want to give a little shout out to the museums as they didn’t make the list this time but it was a hard choice not to include them. Many of them have some truly fabulous interactive exhibits that kids really enjoy. I’d highly recommend giving them some consideration when you are tossing up what you would like to do.

Taronga Zoo

What can I say…it’s a damn fine zoo. It has lions and tigers and giraffes and you can get right up close to some of those gorgeous creatures (closer to the giraffes than the lions and tigers for some reason). The zoo is nothing short of splendid and the kids love it. There are a few elephant calves rockin’ around the place at the moment too so go check them out for some uber cuteness.

The animal encounters are really cool. My favourite is feeding the giraffe and tell me what kid wouldn’t like doing that! They give you a photo as part of the cost. It’s a bit of a favourite so book it first thing when you arrive at the zoo.

Hot tip: You can get to the zoo by ferry direct from Circular Key. There are some discounted ferry + zoo passes that are worth checking out. Or if it is a Sunday you can get the Family Funday transport ticket for $2.50 per person (kids under 5 travel free). This allows you transport on all public buses, trains and ferries all day. What a bargain!

Sydney Aquarium

There are big sharks floating about above you and you can see them up close. What’s not to like? Basically the main exhibit here is a big clear tunnel that you wander through where everywhere around you is ocean. You can stand and watch all the lovely sea creatures, like sharks and sting rays, going about their business all day if you want to. Just make sure you let people past as some of them may want to see other things.

It is incredible and kids love love love it.

The other exhibits are very good too. Kids love the tropical fish one and can spend ages hanging around trying to find Nemo.

Hot tip: don’t wander up and pay full price at the door! You will save save save if you book online. There are also some great options like family afternoon passes offering a significant discount. Check their website for details.

Clovelly Beach

In truth you could go to any beach and that would be fun but Clovelly Beach is perfect for families with young kids. It is a small waveless beach that is much more like an ocean pool. The snorkelling is fabulous so don’t forget to pack one! There’s always a tonne of other kids down there so plenty of new friends for your little ones to play with. You can take your own snacks but if you can’t be bothered with packing a heap of stuff then the grub at the cafe is pretty good.

Hot tip: If you go during the week this beach will be much quieter. Buses run from the city to Clovelly, in Sydney’s east, quite regularly. If you travel on a Sunday then you can get the super cheap Family Funday ticket for $2.50 per person (kids under 5 travel free).

Kristy Alexander is a freelance travel writer for HotelClub and busy mum of three with a passion for the outdoors. She recommends the Mercure Sydney if you are looking for a conveniently located hotel close to the hub of Sydney’s public transport.

Filed Under: Activities, Children, General posts & comments, Kids Activities, Sydney

10 Things that will have your kids coming back for more

03/10/2012 by DO Leave a Comment

All kids from young to teenagers need the basics of life – like food, warmth, shelter and clothing. But they also need to feel loved and secure. By giving our children all the things they need, we can help them be safe, strong and thrive.

Below are some ideas that can make a world of difference and help your children feel loved and secure.

1: Meeting their everyday needs

Babies and children need to know there is someone who loves them and that their needs will be met as soon as possible. This means:

Feeding them when they’re hungry
Keeping them comfortable depending on the weather
Helping them if they are in pain, scared or upset
Providing family routines
Making sure they feel safe and secure

It’s normal for babies to cry:
Babies cry an average of two to five hours every day, it’s their way of talking. See the below checklist and it will help you work out what’s wrong (and if they won’t stop, just love them anyway!).

Crying checklist:

Check nappy
See if their hungry or uncomfortable
Make sure their not in pain or have a fever (if they do, call a doctor)
Wrap them safely in a soft blanket and cuddle them
Take them for a ride in a walker or car
Place them in a bouncy chair or gentle infant swing
Play soft music, sing or hum quietly
Give them a soothing bath.

2: Feel safe and secure

When children feel safe and secure, they learn to trust other people. Children who don’t feel safe can be anxious and unhappy. This can affect their health and learning. But when they learn that they can trust the adults around them, it helps them grow up happy, healthy and to enjoy the world around them.

Firstly, we make children feel safe by meeting their basic needs. But we also make them feel safe by showing them that we love them.

3: Love and hugs

Hugs and cuddles help children to feel safe and comforts them. Holding your children, picking them up, sitting them on your lap, kissing and cuddling, are all good ways to show that you care.

Babies and toddlers usually love games like bouncing them on your knee, gently tickling, and games that involve wiggling their fingers or toes can be lots of fun.

Holding a toddler’s hand when out walking helps to protect them from danger and to feel safe and secure in the outside world.

Older children need lots of affection to remind them that you care. You can do this with cuddles, a ‘goodnight’ kiss and a hug. Snuggling up close while reading a story together or watching TV is great for your child and you.

Think about your childhood…
If you were bought up with lots of hugs and praise from your parents, then this will be normal for you. But if you weren’t bought up like that, it might feel strange to do these things. The more you do it, the more natural it will feel. Keep asking yourself:

What is good for my child?
What kind of parent do I want to be?

4: Plenty of praise

Your child wants to please you. If you praise them when they do well at something or are trying hard, it will make them want to do it again. Praising your child for being good will make them want to be good, and it will help them feel good about themselves.
Children who feel good about themselves tend to:

learn more easily and make more effort to achieve
get into less trouble
get on well with others
make friends more easily
feel happier and more secure.

5: Smiles

Give your child lots of smiles, smiling is one of the first things they learn to do for you.

Smiling is one of the simplest ways of helping children feel happy and safe. When you smile at children you are telling them that:

you love them
you enjoy their company
you are pleased with them
you are taking notice of them
you are happy
you are good fun to be with.

Smiles work even better when you are looking into your child’s eyes. Good eye contact when smiling, listening or talking to your child helps to get their attention.

6: Talking to babies, children and teenagers

Babies: It’s good to talk and sing to babies from the time they are born. A gentle voice helps your child to feel relaxed and secure. It helps them to get to know you, and to know that you are there to look after them.

Children: When you talk to children they soon start learning words themselves. The more you talk to them, the more they will learn.

They will also learn more if you use proper adult words most of the time. Learning words helps them to communicate and to understand more about the world. As they get older, words will become one of their most important tools.

Children with a good use of words find it easier to express themselves, to make friends, and to learn at school and at home.

Some ideas for talking to your children: It’s easy to switch off when you’re busy and tired, but try to put aside and talk to your child.

Quiet time together before bed: This can just be a few minutes of talking about each other’s your day and it will make it a special time.
Name games: When kids are learning words, play games like “Where’s your tummy?”… “Where’s the cat?”… “What’s that?”
Bedtime stories: Or just read books at any time. Even if kids are young, they like looking at the pictures.
Sing: Songs are a great way to learn words.
Talk topic: Ask them to pick a topic, and you can tell them a story about it from your own childhood.
Play ‘highs and lows’: If your child is a bit older, talk about the best thing and worst thing that happened that day.

Teenagers: It’s amazing some of the things we will commit to memory—like key stats for a sports team, the lyrics of an old song or words of a famous leader. But how many of us can answer even simple questions about our children, who are as important to us as anyone or anything in our lives? These questions below will help you explore new territory with your child and help continue to build a deeper connection.

Who is your all-time hero?
What is your most prized possession?
What is your favorite meal?
Who’s your best friend?
If you had $20 to spend, what would you buy?
What would you like to do when you grow up?
What do you most like to do with me?
What causes you to lose sleep?
What were your greatest achievements and disappointments in the last year?
What’s one area in which I can support you in the next six months?

7: Listening

Learn more easily and make more effort to achieve
Get into less trouble
Get on well with others
Make friends more easily
Feel happier and more secure.

8: Learn new things

You don’t need fancy toys or equipment to give your child new experiences. You can use everyday things around you, go for walks or explore the beach or park. Why not start a shell collection – or look for special stones? Or what about joining a toy library? You will be able to develop it each time they are with you.

It makes learning fun and teaches them about the world.

They need other people too – other children to play with and relationships with people of all ages.

For older children it’s good to be involved in their school activities and homework, and to meet with their teacher.

New experiences can include simple things like:

tell a story from your childhood
Play a game:
- a board game if they’re older
- peek-a-boo if they’re younger
- or naming games like ‘I spy..’
Sing a song
Explore the house and garden
Read a book
Teach your kids shapes and colours
Take your kids to a friend’s place to visit
Praise your children for something new they did
or something they did well
Take your child for a walk to the park, beach or anywhere near by
Do some drawing, painting or colouring
Pick up stones, look at flowers…new experiences are everywhere for kids.

9: Take care of their feelings

Sometimes it’s hard for children to find the right words, or tell you when they are sad or frightened.

Babies and small children can be frightened by anything new and different, when there is no real danger. A stranger, a clown, or a loud noise, can all be very scary for a toddler who is not used to them. Sometimes you might feel tempted to laugh, to tease them or tell them ‘not to be silly’. What they really need is for you to comfort them and give them a simple explanation.

This will help them feel good about themselves, and feel OK about talking to you if they have a serious problem.

10: Rewards and special treats

All parents want their children to behave. If you give kids attention when they are good, it will make them want to be good more often. If you only notice them when they are naughty, it might make them want to be naughty more often.

The best reward for being good is getting your time and attention. Taking time to play and have fun together doesn’t have to cost money. A picnic, a walk in the park or a trip to the beach can be lots of fun.

One idea for giving kids your time and attention…

Make a scrapbook or cork pin-board with them

10 Things that will have your kids coming back for more Children love stories about themselves – it helps them feel loved and important. You could make a scrapbook or even a cork pin-board that’s all about your child from the time they were born. Put all sorts of things in/on it, cork boards are a great way to display dreams and positive affirmations:

Photos of holidays, friends and things they like.
Things they’ve said
A favourite birthday card
Achievements ribbons
Concert and event tickets
Their favourite pop singer-poster

It’s always a comforting time when we sit down and review it. I remind them to keep it fresh and updated on semi-regular basis.

I made this cork-board for under $50 which I got everything from Bunnings i.e. cork floor tiles, backing board, screws, plaster plugs and liquid nails. Size is 91.5mm x 1220mm (it fitted 12 tiles perfectly)

Filed Under: Children, Kids Health, Parenting, Separation

Stranger Danger

21/09/2012 by DO Leave a Comment

Stranger Danger I have always been concerned about my child being approached by a dangerous person. I cant imagine another instance that I would be more scared of? There was some research done in NSW that showed 95% of attacks on children are from people they know. Which also means we need to educate our kids on the safe places around them like shops, neighbours and who are the safe people in our lives.

Not only do we need to educate our kids on what to do when confronted by a stranger but also simply what to do when feeling uncomfortable.

My kids are generally never out of my sight (whilst in my care) and I trust their mother completely with keeping an eye on them too but never the less it is a scary thought all the same.

The other day when driving my daughter to school we discussed the “what if” a stranger approached you? It was funny even though not a funny topic. She said ” I would kick them in the penis” and then demonstrated on the glove-box how hard she would kick 🙂 we laughed! Below are the points we chatted about …

What is a strange person?

Whilst most people are friendly and genuine, there are some who mean harm to children.

We discussed things to ALWAYS DO and some things to NEVER DO if they come in contact with a stranger – someone they haven’t met before. You can’t tell if a person you do not know is good or bad, even if they look and seem nice.

If approached by a stranger always…

say NO to a stranger
stay away from strangers
play with your friends and when playing away from home, look after your younger brothers and sisters and friends.
tell your parents, or a responsible adult that you know, where you are going, who you are going with and what time you will be back.
return home by the agreed time.
Tell your parents, friend, teacher, police officer or responsible adult that you know if your approached by a stranger.
Go home as quickly as you can if a stranger comes up to you. If you can’t get home, go somewhere you know will be safe, like your school or a police station.
Kick scream and yell. That will alert people in the vicinity that there is something terribly wrong.

Never…

walk off with a stranger.
go near or get into a strange car or van, whatever the stranger says.
take lollies or presents, even if it is something you really want.
go off on your own.
play near to public toilets, building sites, empty buildings, busy roads etc…

Warren Cann, a psychologist and director of the Raising Children Network, a parenting website, says it is important that parents find a balance between instilling protective behaviours and creating a fear of all strangers.

“Making kids scared of all strangers is not good for anyone and breaks down community connectedness,” he says.

“Instead, we need to teach kids how to keep themselves safe – and not just with strangers.”

Parents are terrified

In 2008 a Melbourne study of 300 children aged four to eight years found that two-thirds of kids were banned from playing outside their garden gate, with children citing reasons such as abduction and death.
A 2010 VicHealth study noted parental fear of strangers as a major impediment to children’s independent mobility and physical activity. It cited research that found 38 per cent of people surveyed believed there was a high risk a child would be abducted if they moved between places without adult supervision.

The real risk

Several commentators have tried to put a figure on the probability of a child being abducted. Lenore Skenazy, who kicked off the “free-range” child movement, puts it at one in 600,000, while author Dan Gardner predicts in his book Risk (Scribe) that a child is 26 times more likely to die in a car crash than to be abducted by a stranger.

Advice for parents

Even if the risk is minimal, parents need to ensure their children have an understanding of “protective behaviours,” Cann says.

Here are his suggestions.

Talk about staying safe when you are not around. Rather than banning kids from getting into a stranger’s car, make it a rule that they can’t make changes to plans or get into anyone’s car unless they have run it past you.
Encourage a “no secrets” policy, so if something happens to make them feel uncomfortable they can talk to you – or have other people they can confide in.

Filed Under: Children, Kids Health, Parenting

Are kids more successful in school when parents take an active interest in their homework?

17/09/2012 by DO 2 Comments

dad taking an interest in your kids homework There is a lot of debate on whether kids have too much homework these days. Teachers say the idea of homework is not just for revision and continual learning after hours but to prepare them for when they get into year 11 and 12 or even Uni. It’s preparation, so that study is not so much of a shock and they have learned skill around how to actually do it. The question I have heard recently is – are kids more successful in school when parents take an active interest in their homework — it shows kids that what they do is important.

If you kids are anything like mine, it is a constant struggle to get them to concentrate on any homework at home. I do all the right things like switching off the TV, create an environment that is non distracting and still they don’t care much for it. It could be because they have had enough of the work during the day? who knows, but there is homework to be done, so we get it done with as little upset as possible.

Of course, helping with homework shouldn’t mean spending hours hunched over a desk. The idea is that we as dads are supportive by demonstrating study and organization skills, explaining a tricky problem, or just encouraging kids to take a break. And who knows? We might even learn a thing or two! 🙂

Here are some homework tips to guide the way:

Know the teachers — and what they’re looking for. Attend school events, such as parent-teacher nights (arrange a separate meeting if you can’t attend together), to meet your child’s teachers. Ask about their homework policies and how you should be involved.
Set up a homework-friendly area. Make sure kids have a well-lit place to complete homework. Keep supplies — paper, pencils, glue, scissors — within reach.
Schedule a regular study time. Some kids work best in the afternoon, following a snack and play period; others may prefer to wait until after dinner.
Help them make a plan. On heavy homework nights or when there’s an especially hefty assignment to tackle, encourage your child break up the work into manageable chunks. Create a work schedule for the night if necessary — and take time for a 15-minute break every hour, if possible.
Keep distractions to a minimum. This means no TV, loud music, or phone calls. (Occasionally, though, a phone call to a classmate about an assignment can be helpful.)
Make sure kids do their own work. They won’t learn if they don’t think for themselves and make their own mistakes. We can make suggestions and help with directions. But it’s a kid’s job to do the learning.
Be a motivator and monitor. Ask about assignments, quizzes, and tests. Give encouragement, check completed homework, and make yourself available for questions and concerns.
Set a good example. Do your kids ever see you diligently balancing your budget or reading a book? Kids are more likely to follow our examples than our advice.
Praise their work and efforts. Post good results or an art project on the refrigerator. Mention academic achievements to relatives.
If there are continuing problems with homework, get help. Talk about it with your child’s teacher. Some kids have trouble seeing the board and may need glasses; others might need an evaluation for a learning problem or attention disorder. It’s very common for kids to have special learning teachers visit them and help with reading, spelling or maths. Most schools provide this service free of charge.

Filed Under: Children, Fathering, Home work

Daily routines reduce stress

02/09/2012 by DO Leave a Comment

Daily routines Routines today play a huge part in our family, because our kids really don’t have any control over their day to day life, it can give them an opportunity to feel like they belong in the running of the household and provides a sense of order, control and predictability.

Routines have provided good habits with structure around meals, sleep times and morning rituals. I am sure that even though my children don’t know it’s happening, they would be appreciative that they have this structure during key times of the day.

I started these routines the minute I move to a single parent life and it has continued on now for a few years.

Some of the positive take out have been:

Same time every morning and night when brushing teeth reduces push back from them in actually doing it.
Baths and showers before bedtime signifying the end of the day and they can hop into bed feeling clean and calm.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner always at the approximate same time, has reduced craving and grumpiness.
When it was housing cleaning time, it taught life skills, never always easy but I can say we have progressed from tidying up rooms to vacuuming and mopping floors 🙂
Enabled me to have some order around daily activities even whilst everything else may have been out of control.
It ensured that the important things got done.
We can then go on auto pilot and conserve energy and brain power.
It’s provided security and a sense of control.
It saves scrambling and allows us to focus on things.
Kids don’t cope with change very well and it has provided predictability.
Daily routines reduce stress in our lives

Routines have created a positive effect on my life.

OMG without a routine, getting ready in the morning would have been a nightmare. I can say that our home is happier in the morning and pretty smooth sailing because of it.

For example:

Morning

Getting up and going can be hard whether young or old. If you find it hard getting started in the morning, having a solid routine established from first up in the morning means a much easier flow to the day.

I maintain the same alarm time to get up every morning and it means all the difference between having a good morning and having a bad one. I account for an extra 30 minutes for the potential of a hair hissy, sleepy kids or slow eaters. It makes all the difference because we are not worried about those roadblocks that chew up time. Because my kids are in school it takes all the stress out. For example my daughter will come out and say I cant do my hair correctly this morning? I say “Oh really, keep trying you’ll get it” with no stress. If I didn’t have the 30 minute buffer I could be saying “hurry up, we need to get moving” then all hell would break loose J

With getting up, having breakfast, getting dressed and brushing teeth and doing hair, there is really only one way for me to start the day off with practically no stress.

Mealtime

Mealtime also has been a good activity to establish good habits for us. We always have a good breakfast, maybe I am lucky but there has never been an option not to eat at breakfast time and I usually serve up, cereal, toast, fruit and a glass of milk or water (whatever they feel like). Yes it’s a lot and they usually only eat half of everything put in front of them. They go off to school knowing that they are well fed, I read once that it stops junk food cravings and grumpiness as lack of food brings all that on. This study also mentions how the lack of food reduces concentration, I think we get that!

Mealtime has also been a time that we sit together and just eat and talk about the day. We are not perfect, there are definitely times that we eat while watching some TV, just depends how the evening has gone but generally it’s always around the same time and homework or reading has been done.

Sleep

I found as the kids get older, it’s harder to get them to bed. For some reason they believe they are going to miss on ..who know what? I reckon too it is that they have much more fun running around than laying down to head off to sleep.

Sticking to a rigid sleep ritual has been a god send, well rested children are more pleasurable to be around. Next to eating, this would be No.2 priority. It reduces the amount of whinging and irritability that takes place and are much easy to reason with.

My kids routine starts with either having a quick shower, brushing teeth, going to the toilet and a story. At the moment I read a page, then they read a page and about 20 minutes into it they are tiring and its light out.

If I try and get them to bed even 15 minutes earlier than normal, they will fight sleep the whole way, so I found timing is everything. Sometimes if they are restless, I let them listen to some soft music with lights out and I come back in 10 minutes and they are usually off with the fairies.

Play

On weekends, my kids know that there will be sporting activities somewhere such as walking, bike riding or now and then doing something interesting like: indoor rock-climbing. It takes a little coaxing sometimes but when we get to it they are happy with the outcome. I balance it with down time so when we get back they simply lounge around and rest with normally a DVD.

They have come to expect it and it has also put a routine on me for planning such activities for the weekend. Sometimes I feel we are the best tourist in our own cities.

It’s not a commando routine and that every minute of the day is structured – far from it! Rules got broken, flexibility has also been important when deciding what needs to be done and when?

I really can’t promote routines enough, it has been my saving grace and I am sure it has given me less stress than if I had no routine.

Filed Under: Children, Dads Health, Kids Health, Lifestyle

A Father’s Love is One of the Greatest Influences on Personality Development

26/08/2012 by DO Leave a Comment

A fathers love Father’s Day is fast approaching. Few more days to go and we will be celebrating this day with overwhelming gratitude for our dads.

In a half-century study involving over 10,000 people from around the world, researchers from the University of Connecticut found that a fatherly love contributes as much, and sometimes more, to a child’s personality and development, as that of a motherly child.

Parental acceptance and why it’s so important

The researchers looked at 36 studies from various nations about how parental rejection affects a child’s personality and its development until adulthood. The studies were based on surveys that aimed to measure the parent’s degree of rejection or acceptance of their children. Rohner and Abdul Khaleque, study authors, found that children who have experienced parental rejection tend to become more anxious and insecure, and sometimes more aggressive and hostile towards other people as they grow up. This makes it more difficult for them to stay away from the cycle and become better parents. These adults are also less likely to form a secured and trusting relationship with their partners.

The feeling or rejection or acceptance is crucial to one’s personality development. According to Rohner, there’s emerging scientific evidence that reveals that there are parts of the brain that are activated when people experience physical pain and these regions are also activated when a person feels rejected. But the good thing is – people can revive this emotional pain over and over again, he pointed out.

Fatherly Love vs. Motherly Love

The researchers also studied the degree of impact of a father’s rejection or acceptance as compared to that of the mother’s. Based on their analysis of the 36 studies, Rohner and Khaleque found that the influence of a father is oftentimes much greater as compared to the influence of the mother. A group of experts working on the International Father Acceptance Rejection Project has one explanation for this. According to them, children and young adults tend to pay more attention to the parent which is perceived to be having a higher authority. So if the child perceives his father to be of a higher authority, that child’s behaviour is more likely to be influenced by his dad. More scientific investigations are needed to support this claim though.

An important realisation from this research, as explained by Rohner is this: fatherly love is critical to a person’s development. Knowing this would help motivate men to become more involved in rearing their children. Furthermore, these findings will reduce the society’s ‘mother blaming’ attitude which is most observed in schools and clinical environments as more people realise that daddies, do have a major role to play too in developing a child’s personality.

Their findings were published in the Journal of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology.

Source of this article:

A Father’s Love is One of the Greatest Influences on Personality Development, Society for Personality and Social Psychology

Filed Under: Children, Dads Health, Fathering, Kids Health

Helping our kids deal with stress

25/08/2012 by DO 1 Comment

To adults, childhood can seem like a carefree time. But kids still experience stress. Things like school and social life can sometimes create pressures that can feel overwhelming for kids. As a dad, you can’t protect your kids from stress — but you can help them develop healthy ways to cope with stress and solve everyday problems.

Kids deal with stress in both healthy and unhealthy ways. A study conducted by KidsHealth revealed they may not initiate a conversation about what’s bothering them, kids do want their parents to reach out and help them cope with their troubles.

But it’s not always easy for parents to know what to do for a child whose feeling stressed.

Here are a few ideas:

Notice out loud. Tell your child when you notice that something’s bothering him or her. If you can, name the feeling you think your child is experiencing. (“It seems like you’re still mad about what happened at the playground.”) This shouldn’t sound like an accusation (as in, “OK, what happened now? Are you still mad about that?”) or put a child on the spot. It’s just a casual observation that you’re interested in hearing more about your child’s concern. Be sympathetic and show you care and want to understand.

Listen to your child. Ask your child to tell you what’s wrong. Listen attentively and calmly — with interest, patience, openness, and caring. Avoid any urge to judge, blame, lecture, or say what you think your child should have done instead. The idea is to let your child’s concerns (and feelings) be heard. Try to get the whole story by asking questions like “And then what happened?” Take your time. And let your child take his or her time, too.

Comment briefly on the feelings you think your child was experiencing. For example, you might say “That must have been upsetting,” “No wonder you felt mad when they wouldn’t let you in the game,” or “That must have seemed unfair to you.” Doing this shows that you understand what your child felt, why, and that you care. Feeling understood and listened to helps your child feel supported by you, and that is especially important in times of stress.

Put a label on it. Many kids do not yet have words for their feelings. If your child seems angry or frustrated, use those words to help him or her learn to identify the emotions by name. Putting feelings into words helps kids communicate and develop emotional awareness — the ability to recognize their own emotional states. Kids who can do so are less likely to reach the behavioural boiling point where strong emotions get demonstrated through behaviours rather than communicated with words.

Help your child think of things to do. If there’s a specific problem that’s causing stress, talk together about what to do. Encourage your child to think of a couple of ideas. You can get the brainstorm started if necessary, but don’t do all the work. Your child’s active participation will build confidence. Support the good ideas and add to them as needed. Ask, “How do you think this will work?”

Listen and move on. Sometimes talking and listening and feeling understood is all that’s needed to help a child’s frustrations begin to melt away. Afterwards, try changing the subject and moving on to something more positive and relaxing. Help your child think of something to do to feel better. Don’t give the problem more attention than it deserves.

Limit stress where possible. If certain situations are causing stress, see if there are ways to change things. For instance, if too many after-school activities consistently cause homework stress, it might be necessary to limit activities to leave time and energy for homework.

Just be there. Kids don’t always feel like talking about what’s bothering them. Sometimes that’s OK. Let your kids know you’ll be there when they do feel like talking. Even when kids don’t want to talk, they usually don’t want parents to leave them alone. You can help your child feel better just by being there — keeping him or her company, spending time together. So if you notice that your child seems to be down in the dumps, stressed, or having a bad day — but doesn’t feel like talking — initiate something you can do together. Take a walk, watch a movie, shoot some baskets, or make a meal together. Isn’t it nice to know that your presence really counts?

Be patient. As a dad, it hurts to see your child unhappy or stressed. But try to resist the urge to fix every problem. Instead, focus on helping your child, slowly but surely, grow into a good problem-solver — a kid who knows how to roll with life’s ups and downs, put feelings into words, calm down when needed, and bounce back to try again.

Parents can’t solve every problem as kids go through life. But by teaching healthy coping strategies, you’ll prepare your kids to manage the stresses that come in the future.

Reviewed by: D’Arcy Lyness, PhD, Information courtesy of KidsHealth

Filed Under: Children, Fathering, Kids Health

Bunnings Craft Kits

15/07/2012 by DO Leave a Comment

bunnings craft kit boys Did you know that Bunnings have a whole range of kids craft kits for both girls and boys. There is everything from race cars to pots and saucers. The kits contain everything you will need to complete the project:

Glue
Pre-cut wood
Ceramic
Paint pots
Brush
Stickers and rhinestones

They are a great idea, I have used them on those weekend afternoons and school holidays when we just want to relax at home and have something interesting for the kids to do. They cost between $15 – $20. Drop into your nearest Bunnings and check them out, the kids love them!

Filed Under: Activities, Adelaide, Brisbane, Children, DIY, Hobart, Melbourne, Perth, Sydney

Why Are Girls Taller Than Me?

10/07/2012 by DO Leave a Comment

Dads Online - Boys When boys are growing up and there bodies start to change, they will have questions about these changes. Below is a response to a commonly asked question that may help you.

You might have noticed that some of the girls you know are taller than the boys. But you’ve probably noticed that out of the adults you know, most of the men are taller than the women. What’s going on?

Well, girls get a head start on puberty — and growing taller — because they usually start these changes between the ages of 8 and 13. Most boys, on the other hand, don’t begin until between the ages of 9 and 14. So that’s why girls are often taller than boys during that time.

Most boys may catch up — and even grow taller than girls. But it’s also important to remember that your genetics play a role in height. So if your mom and dad are tall, you’re more likely to be tall. And if your mom and dad are kind of short, you may be short, too. But nothing is definite.

You have to wait and see how it turns out, but you can also talk to a doctor if you’re concerned. Remember — not every adult male is tall. Many men who are considered “short” have gone on to have careers in the movies, the military, and even professional basketball!

There aren’t any exercises or magic pills to make you grow tall. But by being active and eating nutritious foods, you’re helping your body grow up healthy, just the way it should.

Content provided by Kids Health

Filed Under: Children, Kids Health, Parenting, Sons