We have all been there, our child (son or daughter) walks out to go off to a party or a club and we say ” have a good time” or “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” or “take care” or “be careful”.
That’s it? I really do feel we need to spell out what exactly that means, to keep our children and their friends safe.
What we should say – to sons:
- Make sure you protect girls that are with you and don’t allow anyone to bully them or take advantage of them
- Make sure you treat all girls with respect and never go along with anything that you know is wrong
- When you are out drinking with friends and you see a girl that is drunk or vulnerable, you be responsible and ensure she is safe and no
one touches her in an indecent way. If they do, gather your friends (for support) and say something to make it stop and take her to safety - Don’t be frightened to say NO, if you feel whats happening is wrong!
- Don’t take indecent photos of friends
- Call 000 if you feel someone needs more help than what you can give.
- Call me anytime night or day and I will come and pick you and your friends up
What we should say – to daughters:
- Make sure you stick together and look out for each other
- Do not allow boys to speak to you or your girlfriends with disrespectful language
- It perfectly ok to say NO!
- Don’t leave a girlfriend behind with a group of boys, everyone leaves together
- Choose boys who you know and trust to get you home safely
- Never leave your drink unattended when you go to the bathroom, get a good friend to mind it or take it with you
- If you see a girl that is getting drunk make sure she has friends around her if not, tell her friends
- Don’t take indecent photos of friends
- Call me anytime night or day and I will come and pick you and your friends up
- Call 000 if you feel someone needs more help than what you can give
If your kids walk out and you have had a discussion around safety for them and their friends, they are far better off and safer for it.
xox when they need rescuing
The article was very good but the plan they were using was called the X Plan. The idea was to send an “X” if they needed an out to a situation they found themselves him.
The issue with an X is that if I got this during the night I would just think my daughter was sending me a kiss. I wouldn’t jump out of bed, and head to rescue her, I would probably just send back a “x”.
The idea behind this methodology is to keep your children safe if they feel they are out of their depth or find themselves in a spot they can’t get out of.
I spoke to my daughter about these situations you could find yourself in, such as:
I also discussed to be assertive and confident with your decisions but if that is not working then you need to send me a sms with XOX (a little like SOS). This is a safe-plan and using some letters that she would not normally use. I get all the x’s but never a xox, so we decided that was a good sms. You work out the best sms code that work for you too 🙂
If and when I received an sms, I would call the her phone immediately and say…
If the location is not the location I was expecting her to be, I am happy for her to tell me as little or as much as she wants to. I am just happy that she is away from a situation she believed was harmful.