How well do our children know us?

23/03/2014 by Leave a Comment

your story your wordsEveryone of us has a story to tell. Our life is unique to us and our journey, experiences, feelings and memories to date have carved us into who we are today. These experiences can be shared with our children in a creative way. Below are many questions that often don’t get asked, you can go a lifetime and your children will not know the answers to any of these insights into your lifetime.

It can bring you closer &/or open up topics for further discussions. Answer the questions as if your child is asking them. Why don’t you copy and print them out – take your time to answer them carefully and honestly, include as many photos as possible then present it to your child/children as a gift.  You could even get it published online as a book for little cost, simply Google “online publishing” and there are many to research and choose from 🙂

 Questions to share:

  1. Tell me about the time and place you were born
  2. What are your earliest memories?
  3. Tell me about your Mum and Dad
  4. What do you think your parents thought of you as a child?
  5. What interesting information do you know about other people in your family?
  6. Detail what you know of our family tree?
  7. Tell me some more about your family that may interest generations to come.
  8. What do you remember about the places you lived when you were a child?
  9. What were your favorite childhood toys or games?
  10. Tell me about your best friends as a child.
  11. What do you remember about holidays as a child?
  12. What sort of pets did you have when you were a child and what was their names?
  13. What were you best at when you were at school?
  14. What did you want to do when you grew up?
  15. Who was your best friend as a teenager and why?
  16. What were your favorite hobbies when you were young?
  17. Did you have a idol when you were young? tell me who and why.
  18. What was the first piece of music you bought?
  19. What would have been your top 10 favorite pieces of music when you were young?
  20. Describe any family traditions you had when you were young? or maybe still have.
  21. What age did you start work and tell me about the jobs you have had?
  22. What was the first car you ever owned and tell me about the other vehicles you have had?
  23. How did you meet my mother?
  24. What were some of the things you would do on a night out with each other?
  25. Describe a special day you had with my mother?
  26. How did you feel when you found out you were going to be a father?
  27. What did you think when you first saw me after I was born?
  28. What were my statistics when I was born – time of birth, height and weight?
  29. What did I look like when I was born?
  30. Did you have a nickname when you were young? what was it and why?
  31. Before I was born what other names were you thinking of calling me?
  32. What was the first word or words you remember me saying?
  33. Describe some of the favorite memories you have of me when I was a child?
  34. What was I like when I was a child?
  35. What attributes did I have as a child and still have now?
  36. What were you most proud of me when I was at school?
  37. Describe what you like about me?
  38. Is there anything you would like to change about me?
  39. What are the happiest memories of your life so far?
  40. What are a few of your favorite things?
  41. Tell me about the tings that make you laugh?
  42. Describe your memory of a major world event that has happened in your life.
  43. Describe the greatest change that you have seen in your lifetime so far.
  44. Describe something you still want to achieve in your life.
  45. Tell me about the dream you have for your life.
  46. If you were an animal what type of animal would you be and why?
  47. If you won the lottery what would you do with the money?
  48. What have you found most difficult in your life?
  49. What is your biggest regret in your life and can you do anything about it now?
  50. With hindsight what would you do differently?
  51. Tell me something you think I wont know about you.
  52. What would you like your epitaph to say?
  53. Is there anything you would like to say sorry for?
  54. What piece of advise would you like to offer me?
  55. Is there anything else you would like to say that hasn’t been mentioned?
  56. And now for the record…
    • Your full name?
    • DOB
    • What colour are your eyes?
    • How tall are you?
    • How much do you weigh?
    • What blood group are you?
    • What was the date you completed this journal for me?

Create a treasured family keepsake, share you life, your journey, your memories, your laughs and even your challenges.

Filed Under: Children, Dads Health, Kids Health, Parenting

Who’s up for giving back to the community

14/12/2013 by Leave a Comment

communityThere is very little I can think of that gives you the same buzz that you get from giving your time to help others and making the community a better place.

There is so much negativity around, we see it all the time i.e. road rage, people dropping litter, graffiti, treating the elderly poorly, hunger, homeless, unemployment etc Have I made you depressed yet? I feel it just writing this part 🙂 but we can balance all of that by doing good and intentionally making a difference to others.

There are many organizations that you can volunteer your time. SEEK Volunteer  is a non-profit initiative designed to make volunteering easier. You can search by location, how much time you have to give and category of cause: including everything from animal welfare, seniors, disaster relief, sport and mentoring.

I was invited to a Christmas carol sing along at a church group on Friday night, I am not what you would call a religious person but always up for a Christmas Carol.  I was very impressed in the modern and “current” theme of the church – there was not one cross or picture of Jesus in sight.

The church was called “Edge Church” they have just opened in Melbourne a year ago and have campuses in Adelaide, UK and Long Island NY.  My church experiences were that of the old fashion stereotypical church building (high ceilings, uncomfortable wooden seats and lots of lead-light) with the minister up front reading the bible. No one back then looked happy 🙁

The Edge Church is in a nicely converted/renovated factory, great facilities, cafe, a beautiful room for the congregation – and with very comfy seats, great sound and audio visual equipment and a very talented band and singers to entertain us and to sing along too, it had a real happy vibe. Unlike the church of old days, the Edge Church actively gets involved in the community to make a difference. Edge Church moto is “Serving our Community with Hope, Truth & Love”.

Drop in, you might be as impressed as I was? I hope to see you out there.

Filed Under: Activities, Dads Health, Kids Health

Don’t assume they know.

06/12/2013 by Leave a Comment

drill down dont assumeWatching Dr Phil the other day I listened to how a girl was out drinking with a group of “so called friends” boys, they all got drunk and she was gang raped.

 

Why did these boys take advantage of a drunken girl instead of just taking her home? There is no excuse for this. She ended up committing suicide because they distributed photos of the crime and harassed her both on social media and texting.

It got me thinking about what are we saying to both our girls and boys when it comes to behavior when out socially?

Often the words we use are simple and top line discussion instead of drilling down on exactly what behaviour is unacceptable. Simply saying, “be good” or  “don’t get into any trouble” isn’t enough for a young brain to compute or to make sense of, because at that moment they are thinking – of course I will be good, dad.

Lets stop for a minute, sit them down and have a real conversation about what good behaviour looks like and specifically how to look after friends and girls?

Here are some real topics to cover off with your sons and daughters…

  • When you are out drinking with friends and you see a girl that is drunk or vulnerable, you be responsible and ensure she is safe and no
    one touches her in an indecent way. If they do, gather your friends (for support) and say something to make it stop and take her to safety.
  • Call 000 if you feel someone needs more help than what you can give.
  • Never have sex or be intimate with a girl that is not consenting to it. If she says NO she means NO. Walk away, that is the end of that.
  • If you see a friend (girl) that is drinking to much, make sure she has girlfriends around who are looking out for her. If not, alert her friends.
  • If girls are drinking at a party and the boys out number the girls the girls should leave and go home.
  • If you sense trouble ahead on the street, cross the road and stay away from it.
  • Avoid eye contact.
  • Stay with your friends and don’t interact with aggressive people – walk away.
  • Go home before 1am and ensure the girls who are with you get home safely.
  • Do not take photos of people or allow your friends to take photos of people in compromising position i.e. nude photos, sexual photos
  • Never post a comment on social media that would hurt the feelings of another – discuss the feelings that can hurt i.e. embarrassment, unliked or feeling ashamed.
  • Respect other human beings and treat them how you would like to be treated yourself.
  • Call me anytime if you need picking up.

 There are many more direct conversations to have. I would be interested in knowing what other topics  you feel would be good to discuss. These topics help keep our children and others safe. If they are ever in the situation, they will draw back on the conversation and most likely act according to what was discussed.

Please like this and share to everyone for discussion.

Filed Under: Children, Daughters, Fathering, Kids Health, Parenting, Sons

Ways to help your child’s constipation

28/10/2013 by 1 Comment

constipation symptoms in kids

Nobody likes feeling backed up; your stomach rumbles with discomfort, your clothes don’t quite fit as they should (and you have put on a kilo since yesterday!) and gas seems to punctuate social moments with embarrassing aplomb, as you rush to the toilet, convinced it might just happen this time. 

So you sit for a while…Nothing. Just more discomfort. Imagine how a child feels, unable to fully communicate their frustrations, dealing with the ballooning pressure of their bowels and intestine rebelling against the introduction of negative flora or a foreign substance into a well-tended digestive garden. Recognising the symptoms of constipation is half the battle for many parents, as children can remain closed lipped about their true feelings, fearing the same mortifying conversations we work through with our doctors.

Luckily, there exists a range of methods to help your child fight the back log and get back on the path to regular motions.

Water It Down

After pin-pointing certain difficulties your child may be having (a youngster is generally considered constipated if they’ve had fewer than three bowel movements in a week), you need to get things moving again by amping up their water in-take. Swap acidic juices and creamy milks for the goodness of H20, as water is a natural solution to this sticky situation – aim for three glasses every day, four if you can, introducing a fibre rich snack as an accompaniment, such as their favourite fruit, to let the child know this is not a punishment, but a fun cure.

The Fibre War

Speaking of fibre, most of us, including adults, aren’t getting enough out of our diet. Fibres aren’t metabolised quickly like processed foods, sugars and fats, acting as an internal scrubber as it makes over our intestines and pushes those harmful bacteria’s caused by starchy foods and sugary treats down the tube, with the help of water. Instead of trying your children on the merits of bran, take the punch out of it by letting them feast on oranges and bananas. They won’t suspect a thing!

Move It, Move It Now

Surprisingly, how often things move is directly related to ah, how often we move! Pushing your kids outside for a couple of hours every day for physical play will assist them in dislodging those stubborn clogs in their digestive system – even if they’re playing a round of soccer in the street with friends until dark or you join them on a bike ride pre-dinner, a healthy life demands physical activity. If they love structured activities, why not sign them up for a team sport or a squad based sport like swimming or gymnastics?

The Case For Structure

Kids love organisation. Don’t mistake the statement to mean something else, for most will reject any notion they should be organised, but rules and guidelines? Most kids need them and meal times are no different. It’s becoming exceedingly difficult to squeeze in the demands of family life with an almost twenty four availability, especially as more workplaces expect you take work home with you, but your kids need you to set meal time boundaries. A no TV rule, coupled with permission to leave the table and a specific bedtime will build a sense of security they need to thrive.

Do you have any tips of your own to share with other dads and friends? Let us know in the comments below.

Filed Under: Children, Kids Health

What if the kids want to cut their visit short

20/10/2013 by Leave a Comment

If there is something upsetting your child, it helps if you have a cooperative ex spouse. They can assist you with explaining to your child that we have agreed that there is time spend with both mum and dad and it is your time with your dad now.  If your ex is hostile, they will probably make the situation worse by sympathizing with your child.

Your response to your child is important when they say “I want to go back to mum house”.

I would start by asking “what is wrong” and lets talk about it and try and resolve it. If it is just because you have disciplined them for being naughty, then the conversation could be more “I understand your not happy because I told you off but going home to your mums is not the answer”.

You could say that that your mum and I have agreed that in times like these going home is not an option. If they persist, a response can be “Going home whenever we have an issue is not how we solve things, let talk about it and work it out.

Loosing your temper will not help, If you feel upset, just say we will talk about this in a little while when both of us have calmed down. If it is because your child misses their mother, then maybe a suggestion to call and say hello. It would never be ok for you to accuse your child of loving their mother more.  It is not about that, they will probably be young and just simply missing the other parent.

A walk or an activity can always be a good distraction, keep busy with a bike ride or get a basketball and shoot some baskets down at the local court? You might even suggest that next time they should bring a photo of their mother so they can have it on there shelf.

You could also provide an activity for them – to make something special for their mum. Bunnings kids activitiesBunnings have quiet a few children’s  activity classes for kids over the age of 5 and you must accompany them. It would be worth checking out your nearest store for their times and taking your child along to make something for their mum. You can see more information here

Try your best to be understanding and compassionate, nothing will get resolved if you stand firm and say you are staying here hail rain or shine. Planning in advance to have one of their friends over for a play can help or arranging to drop your child at their friends house for  couple of hours can make them feel happy and that you understand their life needs to continue as normal as possible. I bet when you pick them up they will be happy that you provided the play date.

If you know people in your neighborhood with similar aged kids, it might be worthwhile in getting to know them so that you can do joint activities. There is a great group called Single Parent Active Kids they organise activities for single parents (for both mums and dads) to get together with kids and share fun activities, definitely worth checking it out, I have a post on them here: https://www.dadsonline.com.au/single-parents-active-kids

Filed Under: Activities, Children, Dads Health, Kids Activities, Kids Health, Parenting, Separation

3 Assertive Ways to Get More Time with Your Kids

23/08/2013 by 1 Comment

3 assertive ways to get more time with your kids

As a dad, one of your biggest challenges is probably finding more time to spend with your kids.

Each day only has 24 hours and there is nothing you can do about that, which means that the only way to find more time for your kids is to redirect time you spend on other activities.

I am willing to bet that one of the highest demands on your time comes from your job, along with any auxiliary activities it entails such as preparation, commuting and so on. Well, your job also presents the best opportunity to redirect time and thus have more time to spend with your kids.

Now I realize this is easier said than done, which is why I’d like to actually show you 3 effective techniques you can use to make this happen.

All these techniques revolve around the concept of assertiveness. To be assertive means to put taking care of your needs first and to express yourself openly in your relationships with others, but from a position of respect towards others, not aggressively.

Assertiveness is something you can use in your career to effectively free up time and not let your job overwhelm your finite time resources. Here are the 3 specific ways you can do this:

1. Practice Saying “No”

You probably end up dedicating a lot more time to your work than you’d like to, because others in the workplace ask for it and you just don’t say “no”.

Your boss asks you to stay overtime repeatedly and each time you agree, even though you don’t really want to. Some of your colleagues ask you for help regularly and you end up working late in order to help them get their job done, even though you’d prefer they do it on their own. And thus, you give others big chunks of your time.

This has to change. You need to deliberately practice politely but firmly saying “no” when people at work make demands on your time. Not all the time, just some of the time, when you believe you’re entitled.

I know refusing a request involving your time may be hard for you right now. My advice is to take it gradually. Say “no” to small requests first, and progressively move up to more important requests. Also, always bear in mind that your time is important and you have the right to not give others in the workplace more of your time than your job responsibilities demand.

The more you practice saying “no” and the more you apply this mindset, the easier it gets to say “no”.

2. Try to Obtain Work-From-Home Days

If you would work from home some of the time and eliminate part of your daily commute, you would surely be able to spend a lot more time with your kids.

And doing at least some work from home is very likely possible in your job logistically speaking. All you need to do is get your employer to allow it.

Personally, I’ve coached several clients and helped them convince their employer to let them work from home 1, 2 or 3 days per week. The essential thing is to ignore any doubts you may have and actually go to your manager and ask them for this. And have a few persuasive arguments why they should approve your request.

You may feel some social awkwardness when doing this. It’s because you’re making a request of a superior that you’re not used to. Trust me: it will be fine. Ignore the awkwardness and do it.

Ideally, at first just suggest your manager to let you work one day per week at home for a couple of weeks, just as an experiment. If that goes well and your productivity stays the same or it actually improves, then you have a case for asking to make this permanent. Then perhaps to add one more work-from-home day, and then even another.

If your manager sees that you working from home doesn’t cause any problems, they value you as an employee and they know this is something important to you, you’re very likely to pull it off and end up doing part of your job from the comfort of your own home.

3. Find a Better Employer

Sometimes no matter how much you try to say “no” and you endeavor to negotiate the use of your time at work, you still can’t free up too much of it.

The dynamic of the company you work for is of such a nature that it constantly puts a high demand on your time and you have little control over this. Maybe you’re in an organization with a lot of emphasis on hard work and little respect for family life, or you have very rigid managers and colleagues; who knows?

Fortunately, if you’re a professional who has a lot to offer, it shouldn’t be too hard for you to find a job in a company with better conditions and less strenuous demands on your time. You will need to be proactive though: search for jobs, send your resume and go to interviews. A better job won’t just fall in your lap. But as long as you take action diligently, results will happen.

The key idea to consider is that you deserve to have a decent amount of time to spend with your kids. Your work isn’t your entire life, it’s only a component of your life, and you have the right to put some clear boundaries on how much time you’re willing to invest in your work.

Do your job well and show commitment to it, but don’t let it absorb all your time and suck the life out of you. That’s what being assertive is all about, and that’s how you find more family time.

Guest Writer: Eduard Ezeanu coaches people who are shy and helps them become more outgoing, both in personal and professional situations. He believes that social confidence is a key factor in having a fulfilling life. You can read other articles from him on his two blogs, People Skills Decoded and Art of Confidence.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Kids Health, Parenting, Work life balance

ABSENT – Documentary

12/07/2013 by Leave a Comment

ABSENT documentaryFilmmaker Justin Hunt will be joined by musician-composer James Hetfield in presenting and discussing the award-winning documentary Absent, exploring the worldwide crisis of absent and disengaged fathers and the negative impact that the “father wound” makes on society.

Weaving interviews with participants who speak from observation and personal experience, the film includes on-camera testimony from author John Eldredge, World Champion boxer Johnny Tapia, fitness model Robin Decker and James Hetfield, best known as co-founder of Metallica. “The father wound is so deep and so all-pervasive in so many parts of the world that its healing could well be the most radical social reform conceivable,” says Father Richard Rohr, and this film makes a strong case that this issue is central to the human condition.

Talking about James Hetfield’s involvement with the movie, Rockville Music Magazine published an exclusive interview with the film’s director Justin Hunt.

I am currently in the process of arranging a screening for all Dads Online friends and supporters around Australia. stay tuned!

 

Filed Under: Dads Health, Kids Health, Separation, Video

Kids and Health Insurance

11/07/2013 by Leave a Comment

kids and health insuranceDivorce changes a lot of things in your family unit, but it does not change one of the major goals that parents often desire to achieve: the ability to raise your children in a way that puts their mental, emotional, and physical health first. Before your divorce, you and your spouse worked as a single unit to protect and provide for your children. Now you must work as separate units, all-be separate units that agree at times, to care for your children.

Private and public health insurance is one vital area that helps you and your ex encourage physical and emotional health in your children.

Medicare
The nice thing about Australia’s healthcare is that it already provides basic health care necessities for parents and their children. Tax and government funded Medicare provides you with a means to provide basic health insurance for your children at a free or reduced price. Medicare allows you to get your children:
• Free immunization shots.
• Free access to public hospital as a public patient.
• Cheaper access to public or private hospitals when you are a private patient.

If your child is a private patient you can decide when and where they will see a doctor. You will not need to wait hours or days on a wait list. When your children are private patients Medicare will pay for 75% of the Medicare Schedule fee.
• Some prescription drugs at a cheaper price.
Free or subsidized health care is a parent’s dream. Due to that fact, you may decide that you have no need for private health insurance. It is a valid choice, but you should be aware that public health insurance does not provide coverage for all necessary medical procedures. Medicare is great, but it is not perfect. Perfection would be financially unfeasible for any relatively free health care system.

Private Health Insurance
Although private health insurance provides basic health care for free or reduced prices, you still might decide to supplement your public health insurance with a private health insurance plan.

Hospital cover helps you pay for the portion of your health fees that Medicare does not cover:
• Ambulance rides.
• Rehabilitation fees.
• Theater fees that hospital charge you.
• The 25% not covered by the Medicare Schedule fee, as well as any additional money that you must pay for health care due to the fact that your doctor or hospital set their prices above the Medicare Schedule fee.

Extra cover provides you coverage for common medical procedures not covered by Medicare:
• Dental checkups.
• Glasses or contacts.
• Orthodontic Work.
• Prescription drugs.
• Physiotherapy.

If you feel that you can deal with surprise hospital visits alone, you might consider focusing any potential private health insurance on the extra coverage plans. While hospital visits may be few, the possibility that your children will need glasses, orthodontic work, or dental work is fairly high.

If you do decide that you want private health insurance, you should be aware that most of the insurance plans require a waiting period before you are able to make claims on your medical expenses. There will be a 6 month waiting period before any dental procedures and a 12 month waiting period before glasses and contacts are covered. You should not decide to sign up for health insurance because you want to save money on your purchasing glasses for your kid within the next week.

Single Parent Household Health Insurance
If you want private health insurance, but you do not believe it is economically feasible for you at this time. You should be aware that as a single parent, you are eligible for cheaper rates than you were before your divorce. Cheaper health insurance for single parent households is a development that came into effect in April of 2007. Before then single parent households were given the same monthly premium fees as families with two parents. If you are still struggling to pay for private health insurance with cheaper fees, you should consider requesting that your ex-wife pay for a portion of your monthly health insurance fees. If you are still negotiating your divorce, you could request that health care coverage be part of the child support that will be paid.

While health insurance is vital and private health insurance helps pay for some necessary medical procedures, you might be able to get by using Medicare. If you cannot handle another financial responsibility in your budget at this time, you may want to consider waiting for private health insurance. If you have the choice between superior health care and buying food for your kids, well the choice seems obvious to me. As parent’s you must do what you can to provide for your children, and one day you may be in a situation where you want afford to invest private health care for your children.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Kids Health

Is your teen at risk of a workplace injury?

16/05/2013 by 1 Comment

Is your teen at risk of a workplace injuryGetting your first part time job is a proud moment in anyone’s life, and this will be no different for your teen.

Gaining some independence, developing life skills, and earning a bit of cash to spend on just about anything are some of the reasons first jobs are so exciting.

However, in spite of the huge number of benefits of young people working, a growing number of teens are finding themselves injured or, in the very worst cases, killed whilst at work.

Adolescents and young adults (aged between 15-24) suffer approximately twice the rate of occupational injuries as older workers. Experts believe teens may be more at risk because they have less work experience than adults, and may be less confident about speaking up about unsafe working conditions.

If your teen has just secured their first job, make sure you talk to them about identifying and minimizing their risks whilst at work:

Job Options

Help your teen to understand that different jobs carry different levels of risk.  For example a job laboring at a construction site is likely to carry a greater risk of physical injury than one in an office or shop.

Workplace Safety

Discuss possible safety issues and safety risks with your teen, and quiz them about what they believe to be dangerous working conditions.

  • Discuss work tasks
  • Find out what types of equipment and machinery they will use
  • Establish what types of protective gear (such as gloves, glasses and ear-plugs) is available to your child, free of charge, of he/she needs it.

In many cases teens just don’t recognize danger before it’s too late.  Make sure your teen has a good basic understanding of how to keep safe at work, and what their employer’s responsibilities are.

Check the employer

Consider visiting your teen at their workplace to assess the safety of the environment.  Avoid embarrassing them by keeping it light and informal – maybe meet them for lunch or a drink whilst you have a quick look around.  If your teen’s employer is a responsible person, they will understand your concerns.

Things to consider include:

  • Do most of the employees seem happy and satisfied?
  • Does the workplace seem reasonably safe?
  • Is the place of employment tidy and organized?

Claiming for compensation

If your teen is unfortunate enough to be injured at work, then there are a number of ways in which they can claim for compensation.  Remember the amount awarded will vary from state to state and it can be difficult for the average person to know their legal rights.

Speaking to a professional injury lawyer can make a big difference to any injury claim.

 

Filed Under: Fathering, Kids Health, Parenting

How to talk to your child about the News

20/04/2013 by Leave a Comment

how to talk to your kids about the newsNews gleaned from the TV, radio, or Internet can be a positive educational experience for kids. But when the images presented are violent or the stories touch on disturbing topics, problems can arise.

Events all over the world but recently in America such as the explosions at the Boston Marathon and the mass shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School might naturally cause kids to worry that something similar might happen to them or their loved ones. It also can make them fear some aspect of daily life — like going to school — that they never worried about before.

Reports on shootings, attacks, natural disasters, and child abductions also can teach kids to view the world as a confusing, threatening, or unfriendly place.

How can you deal with these disturbing stories and images? Talking to your kids about what they watch or hear will help them put frightening information into a reasonable context.

How Kids Perceive the News

Unlike movies or entertainment programs, news is real. But depending on their age or maturity level, kids might not yet understand the distinctions between fact and fantasy.

By the time kids reach 7 or 8, however, what they see on TV can seem all too real. For some youngsters, the vividness of a sensational news story can be internalized and transformed into something that might happen to them. A child watching a news story about a bombing on a bus or a subway might worry, “Could I be next? Could that happen to me?”

Natural disasters or stories of other types of devastation can be personalized in the same manner. A child in Melbourne who sees a house being swallowed by floods from a storm in Brisbane may spend a sleepless night worrying about whether his home will be OK in a rainstorm. A child in Adelaide, seeing news about an attack on train station in Sydney, might get scared about using public transportation around town.

TV has the effect of shrinking the world and bringing it into our own living rooms. By concentrating on violent stories, TV news also can promote a “mean-world” syndrome and give kids an inaccurate view of what the world and society are actually like.

Talking About the News

To calm children’s fears about the news, parents should be prepared to deliver the truth, but only as much truth as a child needs to know. The key is to be honest and help kids feel safe. There’s no need to go into more details than your child is interested in.

Although it’s true that some things — like a natural disaster — can’t be controlled, parents should still give kids space to share their fears. Encourage them to talk openly about what scares them.

Older kids are less likely to accept an explanation at face value. Their budding skepticism about the news and how it’s produced and sold might mask anxieties they have about the stories it covers. If older kids are bothered about a story, help them cope with these fears. An adult’s willingness to listen sends a powerful message.

Teens also can be encouraged to consider why a frightening or disturbing story was on the air: Was it to increase the program’s ratings because of its sensational value or because it was truly newsworthy? In this way, a scary story can be turned into a worthwhile discussion about the role and mission of the news.

Tips for Parents

Keeping an eye on kids’ TV news habits can go a long way toward monitoring the content of what they hear and see. Other tips:

  • Recognize that news doesn’t have to be driven by disturbing pictures. Public TV programs, newspapers, or newsmagazines specifically designed for kids can be less sensational — and less upsetting — ways of getting information to children.
  • Discuss current events with your child regularly. It’s important to help kids think through stories they hear about. Ask questions: What do you think about these events? How do you think these things happen? These questions can encourage conversation about non-news topics too.
  • Put news stories in proper context. Showing that certain events are isolated or explaining how one event relates to another helps kids make better sense of what they hear. Broaden the discussion from a disturbing news item to a larger conversation: Use the story of a natural disaster as an opportunity to talk about philanthropy, cooperation, and the ability of people to cope with overwhelming hardship.
  • Watch the news with your kids to filter inappropriate or frightening stories.
  • Anticipate when guidance will be necessary and avoid shows that are too graphic and inappropriate for your child’s age or level of development.
  • If you’re uncomfortable with the content of the news or if it’s inappropriate for your child’s age, turn it off.
  • Talk about what you can do to help. After a tragic event, kids may gain a sense of control and feel more secure if you help them find ways to help those affected by the tragedy or honor those who died.

 

Thank you to Kidshealth.org for content.

Filed Under: Fathering, Kids Health, News, Parenting

Children and Chores: What I’ve learned as a Father

30/03/2013 by Leave a Comment

Kids and cleaningThere was one thing I was looking forward to when I had my first kid.  It wasn’t spending time raising someone to be responsible, nor was it having a new best friend to laugh and play with.  It was finally getting someone else to mow the lawn for me.  No more of my weekend time wasted pushing my lawnmower with the busted automatic drive, no more time fixing the bag that keeps falling off, and no more hauling the grass bags off to the bin.  That is all Dennis Junior’s job.

Okay, the real truth of it is that I didn’t start having kids to supply my own personal free labor force.  The fact is that I make my kids do chores for the same reasons any other parent does, which is to help teach them about responsibility, reward, and helping to better prepare them for the maniacal world of adult life.

I was raised in a fairly strict family environment and what that left me with was the lasting impression that I wanted my own family to be anything but.  It may have been a tough childhood but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t teach me some good lessons, and while not everything my parents made me do or discipline me for is what I plan on passing along to my kids, my goal was to take the best traditions that I know are good and mix them with some new methods with my own personal twist.

Of course, I have to give that most important of disclaimers “individual results may vary”, but you can just use my method of giving everything a try to see how effective it is on your firstborn, or as I like to call him, “practice baby.”

Make it a responsibility, not a punishment

When my firstborn was young, it was hard to explain the concept of pride to him.  It was something he grew to understand as I explained that how a person presented themselves was how they also presented their own self-respect.  I don’t mow the lawn because I like to, although I really do, because my wife wants nothing to do with yard work and I get some valuable me time with a beer and my iPod.  I mow it because I take pride in where I live.  I don’t want my home to look run down or have anybody judge my family as poor or lazy.

I explained to my children that this was why their rooms should be kept clean.  A clean room is a happy room.  I’m okay with a little clutter, because a little clutter looks lived in and feels like home, but when it starts to look like an episode of Hoarders is where I draw the line.

Participate, do not delegate

Notice I said “help us out.”  Don’t force your kids to do something you wouldn’t do yourself.  This has two negative effects, the first being that it makes a chore feel like punishment, the second being the job probably won’t get done right without your supervision meaning you’ll have to just do it right yourself.

Doing the chores with your kids is a great way to spend time and bond with them.  You can talk to them about their day (a three year old can have quite an interesting day), or sneak in a few life lessons (like why jamming a fork into an electrical outlet is a bad idea).

In traditional cultures parents spend a great deal of time with their children during their childhood teaching them valuable life skills.  There is a disconnect in western culture between chores, children, and how parents instruct children in these chores, with children “striking” on their workload.

Start early, make it routine, and encourage it

The best way to get kids to learn a habit is to start them when they are young.  If mini-you shows an interest in helping you pick up the laundry don’t discourage that behavior by telling them to sit down and get out of the way.  Let them help you out and slow down to their speed.

Kids are great at learning (some studies suggest that the contemporary child is smarter and quicker to learn than kids were decades ago), and when you encourage positive behavior they will naturally come to enjoy it.  Make it part of a daily routine and it will quickly become learned behavior.

Rewards

This is one of those tricky topics.  If you put a dozen parents in a room and ask them what the best type of rewards for doing chores should be, you’ll get about fifty different answers.  The best thing to do as a parent is offer a reward that is tailored to your kid.

What is important to remember though is that rewarding behavior only works until someone decides that the reward is no longer valuable.  If you give your kids money for chores and a sneaky relative outbids you at a birthday party, then suddenly your kids are going to start criticizing the value you place on their work.  If I thought of this situation as me at any job I ever had, and I questioned the value my company placed on me, I’d start looking for a new job.

This is why I for me, the most important principle I try to instill in my children is that of pride and self-respect.  I encourage them to do chores for the same reason that I do them.  Not because I want to, but because it is how I show how I care for myself, and how I care for us as a family.

Filed Under: Children, Fathering, Kids Health, Parenting

The secret to getting around a fussy eater

05/03/2013 by Leave a Comment

Matt Prestons chicken schnitzel and coleslawIf your kids are anything like mine and i think most are, they are fussy eaters.

Until recently i threw out a lot of everything I cooked for my daughter, mostly, when I was trying to introduce her to different foods.  She was stubborn when it came to trying something new, which I find strange because I am not a fussy eater nor is her mother?  AND then I got Matt Preston’s “100 BEST RECIPES” for Christmas.

I cooked Jackeroo pie and Chicken Schnitzel and Coleslaw and she asked for more on both occasions.  I believe the secret to getting around a fussy eater is to involve the kids in the cooking process. I was so impressed with the change in her eating habits that I contacted Matt and told him about it.

Matt sent the following message to all our dads online friends:

Few things give me more joy than cooking with kids. Few things also take longer to clean up but there’s no doubt that this is one way round the fussy eater in the family. What they’ve cooked, they tend to eat!

Matt Preston

matt-preston-s-best-100-recipes

 

 

Here is the recipe she likes the best so far…

 

 

 

Chicken Schnitzel and Coleslaw

  • 2 large chicken fillets (cut in half length ways)
  • 160g or 2 cups of fresh breadcrumbs
  • 40g 1/3 cup of finely grated parmesan
  • zest of a lemon
  • 1/4 cup of finely chopped parsley
  • freshly grounded black pepper
  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 125ml 1/2 cup of milk
  • plain flour for dusting
  • olive oil for frying pan
  • 2 lemons cut into wedges to serve

Coleslaw

  • 1/4 of a savoy cabbage
  • 1 carrot shredded
  • 1/2 red onion, thinly sliced
  • 235g 1 cup good quality mayonnaise
  • 1/2 bunch parsley leaves, washed and dried
  • 40g 1/4 cup currents

To prepare the schnitzels, beat the chicken until flat between two pieces of plastic wrap. Mix the breadcrumbs with the parmesan, lemon zest, parsley and pepper. In another bowl, whisk together the egg and milk. Dust the chicken with flour, dip it in the egg wash and coat with the breadcrumb mix. Place in the fridge for 30 minutes to allow the breadcrumbs to set.

Meanwhile, to make the coleslaw, mix the cabbage, carrot and red onion in a medium bowl with enough mayonnaise to bind. Set aside for 20-30 minutes to soften.

Heat the oil in a shallow pan and cook schnitzels for 4-5 minutes on each side to golden. Drain well on paper towel. Keep your schnitzels warm while you cook all the fillets.

Toss the the coleslaw with the parsley and currants, pile onto plates with the schnitzels and serve.

Let us know how you go, You, your kids and guests will love them! We even play the “Masterchef” game and score the dish on – taste and plating up appearance 🙂 On this dish I got a 10 for taste and a 7.5 for appearance! I obviously have some work to do?

Filed Under: Dinner, Kids Health, Meals, Parenting