Your Children Need the Best Version of You — Not a Perfect One

I’ve met a lot of dads who become incredibly hard on themselves during separation.

They feel like they have to hold everything together.

They’ve got to keep working.
They’ve got to be strong for the kids.
They’ve got to deal with lawyers, money, housing and everything else that’s suddenly been thrown at them.

And somewhere in amongst all of that, looking after themselves drops right to the bottom of the list.

Sleep gets worse.
Exercise disappears.
Meals become whatever is easiest.
Mates don’t hear from them as often.

And sometimes alcohol becomes a way of switching off at the end of the day.

The problem is that you can only run on empty for so long.

Being strong doesn’t mean pretending you’re fine

I think a lot of men were brought up with the idea that being strong means keeping your feelings to yourself.

You don’t complain.

You get on with it.

You sort it out.

There’s nothing wrong with being resilient.

But there’s a difference between being resilient and pretending you’re not struggling.

Your kids can usually see more than you think.

They might not understand exactly what’s happening, but they know when Dad is tired, angry, distracted or worried.

And that’s okay.

You don’t have to hide every difficult emotion from them.

You just need to make sure you’re not making them responsible for it.

There’s a big difference between saying, “Dad’s having a bit of a tough day today, but I’ll be alright,” and making your child feel like they have to look after you.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for your kids is take care of yourself

It doesn’t have to be complicated.