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Our kids are the main event

I was never allowed to participate in parenting, If I dressed my kids they would be too cold or hot, if I prepared a meal it was too spicy, when I cleaned their room it wasn’t done correctly? Maybe she was right? But that all changed when we separated.

It became my time to engage in parenting and to perform fatherly duties without the aggravation and arguments that came from a bad marriage.  I was able to dedicate time to getting better at all the things supposedly I was doing wrong?

Today I get no criticisms from the kids around how clean the house is (it is clean), what the meals taste like and my overall parenting skills…OMG maybe I got better! I dedicated a lot of time to practicing being a good parent and learning all the skills of being a great dad.   There is a good book called “Wednesday evenings and every other weekend” it has a story around dedicating time to the task of being a good parent.

The story talks about being a responsive parent and to clear your schedule and your mind of everything except your child, I think about this in way of being 100% present when ever you are with them.  It takes practice and even then I am guilty of not achieving 100% all the time.  The book has a good analogy: The circus understands this principle.  There might be three rings, but when the star appeared there was only one center ring – the only part of the big tent that was lit.

Our kids are the main event, the top of the bill, the one you have come to see.  Have you paid for a ticket to the big top?  Absolutely! You have spent thousands to be able to spend time with your child, to say nothing of your emotional investment.  Now sit back and fully enjoy that which you have given so much to see.  This is the V.I.P performance. At this moment you are the only ticket holder. You can find this book at Amazon:  “Wednesday evenings and every other weekend”  a second hand book can cost .12 cents with only $4 shipping, definitely worth a read.

It was my opportunity to parent, I loved showing the world that I was good at it and that dads are as capable and competent as mums.  I didn’t feel like I was missing out anymore,  I loved planning our weekends and including downtime on the couch just hanging out.  I worked hard at putting all the disappointment behind me and concentrated on our main event.

We know that divorce smacks the smile of your face and we feel run over by a semi trailer – No a B double! 🙂 But finding the quickest way to get over it and finding your smile will be the best thing for you and your kids.  If you feel that you are hardly ever present when your kids are with you, it might be worthwhile seeing a physiologist to help you get to a better place so that when the kids are with you they are the main event.  I did a couple of times, it helped me sort out crap and to be more fun with my kids.  There is a good health directory for practitioners in your area if you feel it could help.