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Well done dads

Even though separation and divorce is common place, it still feels like failure and in some ways we are embarrassed at times because of it.  We get pigeon holed into “single dad” or “separated father” when in fact we are simply a “dad” or a “father”.

There are times when we have to explain our situation. I remember being at a shopping center with my daughter and a photographer had a stand set up and was handing out promotional cards. I took one and he engaged in conversation about getting a portrait done. It looked good and I was happy to discuss it until he asked “where is mummy”?  I said there is no mum that will be in the photo, he said “no problem” we can just take the two of you.  I lost interest and said no thanks! you might be better of finding a mummy and a daddy to take photos of 🙂

Another time was when I went to a cafe for breakfast and the waitress (older woman) handed out the menu’s and said “no mummy”? and tilted her head sideways as if that was the most unfortunate thing she had heard all week?  You can probably imagine I didn’t find anything on the menu I liked. It is unaware and ignorant people that seem to put their foot in their mouth, it took me quiet awhile to accept their ignorance. These days I still refuse to buy anything from a business that appears to have a negative  opinion on separation I guess so many people have an opinion i.e. friends, family, waitresses, photographers etc that you get a bit tired of feeling like you are a second class citizen.  We already feel like we have failed in some ways, we just need to be treated like anyone else and respected for our contribution for positive parenting.

We work harder at parenting our children than when we had two people sharing it in-fact, we should pat ourselves on the back and say well done. 🙂 We have turned what could have been a disaster into a positive environment for our children even if the situation isn’t how we would have preferred.  We have taught our kids some important things and we have modelled good behavior.  We show controlled conflict resolution, provide for them emotionally and financially, we behave in a dignified and mature manner and we always keep our eyes on the main event…our children.