Mate, its important but not that important

I’m talking about work.

I recently read a story about a Dad who was told by his doctor that he was going to die of cancer. He immediately thought that he should have spent far more time with his children and made them more of a priority.

If only he had off known that he is critical to the health and wellbeing of his children throughout all their stages both young through to teens and onto young adulthood.

There seems to be this belief amongst some families that the mum holds the key to being the main parent figure, In some cases this is true but I blame the mum and the dad for that. Mums take on this righteous belief that they control and own every aspect of the Childs upbringing, which is not true. Dads focus on their work and allow this to happen which prevents them from ever gaining back an equal voice in the home, which is wrong.

Maybe some dads don’t want to cause an argument, or they are lazy and don’t want to step up so they’re happy for the mum to take control, they have a controlling partner or they place more importance on their job and career than what’s really necessary.

How can I change this, you may ask? Make time and be intentional with your effort to be around and to be available.

If you are one of these dads that has missed out on time because of any of the reasons mentioned above, guess what? It’s never too late to start up again. In fact your child will be pleasantly surprised and you will be able to learn more about them that you ever thought was possible. Times seems to pass quickly but it doesn’t really, there is plenty of time to nurture a good relationship.

Your job won’t suffer because you don’t work those 15 extra hours a week, spend them at home and be available doing stuff.

Some things that I do you could copy are:

1. Make sure they know you love them and that they’re the most important people in your life.
2. Encourage conversation with open ended questions, try not to ask a question that could get a “Yes or No” answer.
3. Be available and I mean available. You will have a lot of down time and time just being around but you will be there when they become available and your world comes together to do stuff.
4. Have a dad and daughter date or a father and son date. Go out for dinner just the two of you and spend time, ideally leaving your mobile phones in the car for an hour.
5. Get tickets to a movie, concert or theatre? what ever their interest is be apart of it.
6. If your child is a teen and is ready to start their learners driving lessons, own that and get them ready for testing. Make “patience” your best friend and remember they are learning, learners make mistakes, they are allowed too.
7. If you have girls, I learnt early on from a great fathering group called Fathering Adventures what girls need from their dads, that’s to give them the 3 A’s
   1. Attention
   2. Affirmations
   3. Affection

By prioritising your children more and backing off the time and focus you spend at your work will pay off more than what your boss could ever provide – and that’s a connection, love, satisfaction, family, bond, affection, memories that can last a lifetime and the feeling that you are very important and valued in your Childs life.

Your work is important but its not that important

It’s not something that will happen overnight, but it does happen and it happens because you were there.