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Its normal to grieve the loss of a relationship

Don’t be too hard on yourself, Separation and divorce can be the toughest road you will ever go down.

You will feel a range of experiences going through this, from the initial realization that separation will happen through to getting your emotions, finances and co-parenting arrangements sorted out. Whilst somethings can get sorted fairly quickly, emotions can take years to mend. Some of these emotions are:

  • Frustration
  • Anger
  • Confusion
  • Relief
  • Sadness
  • Loneliness
  • Lost
  • Anxiety
  • Embarrassed
  • Guilt
  • Shame

I’m sure you could add to this list but one thing to remember is that: You have survived 100% of your worst days, and you will continue to do so because there is light at the end of this tunnel. Mostly all men go onto live happy fulfilled lives once the dust settles.

If you are going through separation or divorce and find it overwhelming or you’re upset and need someone to talk to, there is help out there. Never feel you need to go it alone, call one of these two organisations as they are set up perfectly to help you talk though your crisis, worries or concerns and discuss ideas about what steps you could take to help you get to a better place.

  • Mens Line 1300789978
  • Lifeline 131114

There are many reasons why you could feel very emotional throughout these times, things such as:

  • You and your ex partner are not agreeing
  • Loss of friends and social life
  • Loss of the family home
  • Loss of having your children every day
  • Your identity as a husband and dad
  • Finances become very tight
  • You become time poor

Being time poor is one of the practical issues you might face? Suddenly you are not sharing the household chores anymore, organizing the children, the shopping, cleaning, preparing food all becomes tasks you must do on your own. All these things can make you feel overwhelmed.

There are highs that you’ll experience too
, when you set up your place there will be a feeling of independence, your own space and its all yours.
Everyone is different, they handle stress and change in different ways. Think about what works for you? Maybe its concentrating on work for a while, its one area you do want to make work! You can also focus on your health and get into great shape or keep a notepad and write down your dreams and future goals and make getting back on track you project.

Be patient, nothing gets fixed or sorted out over night or even in a month. Just know that sometimes things take a long time to get back on track. Stay off the booze, gambling, drugs and people that don’t support or help you to get to a better place.