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Have you really thought this through?

I receive many emails and speak to many dads on our live chat service and recently a dad ask me a question that made me think that you didn’t think this through, did you?

He said to me …”I recently have left my wife and child, they have stayed in our family home, my wife doesn’t work and I have gone and rented my own property. Do I have to continue to pay for the mortgage on our joint property as its costing me a fortune! WHAT?

Your wife doesn’t work, you have a child still living with her in the family home and recently separated, what do you expect they do?

Its super expensive to separate and divorce, suddenly there are two homes and two of everything that need to be duplicated i.e. rents, furniture, food, bills, and everything that goes with setting up a new home for you and your child. There is massive change for both sides, its already very emotional, scary, unsettling, distracting and each person – Mum and Dad need to have a secure roof over each of your heads and while things are being settled you need to make sure that you are both ok. Remember you have a child that needs to spend time with both parents and they need to see that Mum and Dad are ok.

If you have equity in the house, savings and you both work, its still going to be tough and cost you more than living in a shared house but much easier than if one of you don’t work. It will definitely adds another level of complexity that needs to be worked out.

So think carefully if your relationship can be saved. What could each of you do to get back on track, the way it used to be… you were once madly in-love! If that isn’t possible? Do your numbers, grab a note pad, bring up an excel spreadsheet and do a full budget based on how you will both be able to live in two separate homes and cover all bills associated with the family and your child.

At least then you can make better decisions with knowledge of what you’re about to enter into and you can decide what the best next steps will be for everyone.