Don’t look, it can ruin everything

If you like eating sausages, there is a saying that goes…Don’t look how the sausage is made, it will ruin everything.

We grow up learning about childbirth and never really connect the dots that when it happens to our partner, it’s a very full on confronting experience and not for the lighthearted.

Childbirth for Men can have the same effect as its a little hard to look at the vagina the same way anymore! Something that we once worshiped has been torn apart and beaten up, lets face it and be honest, it is not a pretty sight and very unsexy. It can take a while to get those images out of our mind, if ever at all? There are some women who would worry about what their man thought of them sexually after seeing childbirth.

We have complete admiration for the resilience and strength that women have which allows them to go through childbirth, but if all we can do is hold there hand and not add much more value than that, then I vote we wait in the waiting room and let their mum’s, sisters, aunties, cousins do the hand holding.

Some experts have said that childbirth is actually more difficult for the women when the man is present? The birth tends to take longer and is more painful if we are in the room.

Can it effect our sex life? Let’s face it, there are so many things that we do in order to make sex enjoyable. Many men and women are slightly shy and ease into sex through foreplay both physically and mentally. Seeing childbirth should be one of those things that we keep private to preserve the intimacy, imagery and fantasy of sex.

My Dad told me that in his day, men were not allowed to be in the birthing room. When the baby was born, the mother and baby rested for a bit and the dad entered the room a little later. I don’t see anything wrong with that..at all!

Some women will say that you are missing out on the greatest event of humankind, yes ok but OMG!  If you both agree that it could be better to wait outside, then there is nothing wrong with that strategy at all. If you are needed and wanted in the birthing room, stay up the right end…I warn you!

I would think that many men & women would agree with this, do you?

Comments

  1. You make a good point!
    Many divorced women I speak with say the rot started to set in when they became a mother and they say they wish their husbands hadn’t been in the room with them because a) they said or did something that the mother resented him for or b) they saw her at her worst and their sex life went downhill.
    Obviously, there are other factors at play but marriage is hard enough as it is and divorce is even harder. We should be encouraging our sons and daughters to stack everything in their favour. That might include leaving dads at the birthing room door!

    • Peter says:

      Hi DR,

      thanks for your comment. There is quiet a strong sentiment that the Dads should toughen up and be their to support their partner during childbirth. There is also the thought that the Dads could lack connection with the child because they are not present during the birth. I think these are all good arguments but at the end of the day it’s between the mother and Dad to work that out what is best for them. Definitely if the dad can be present – that would be best case scenario.

      • Hi Peter,
        Yep, definitely a decision for each mum and dad.
        But, stay up the head end is very good advice, from a mum! 🙂

        And here’s a tip for free for new dads, on day two, three and four after the birth, (when the baby blues kick in) do what you are told, when you are told, without question!
        Thanks for a great site.
        Christine from http://www.divorceresource.com.au

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