Like most of you every year I make new resolutions. They include everything from giving up smoking (which I did 19years ago and thank god I did) to saving money, learning guitar, taking up a gym membership and sticking at it! or to learn a particular skill. For a couple of years I would write my goals and resolutions on a card and stick them on the fridge so they were always top of mind. It did work and I achieved many small goals and a few big ones.
There is one resolution I have never added to my list, however I will this year and I urge all Dads to add this to your list too.
Love yourself a little more
I want to be the best version of myself, I believe looking inwardly helps me achieve this. Understanding that we are worthy of respect, love, help, friendship etc sets a standard of how we want people to treat us – no worse than we treat ourselves. If your are treating yourself well by loving yourself a little more it will set positive expectations and you will achieve the right outcome.
You may ask what is Loving yourself a little more?
Its not that deep and meaningful, it is just living by a few rules you set for yourself, like:
- Don’t be to hard on yourself. Remember that this will only make you feel bad. Everyone makes mistakes, so go easy and always be focus on the good that you do.
- Keep a list of your receipts. This is about when you have Paid it Forward by doing a good deed. Always be looking to help others, donate your time to a person in need, pick up that piece of rubbish, share a kind word with someone, it can be anything that contributes to a more positive community. We call it giving yourself a “receipt” write them down and refer to them during the year.
- Make time to pat yourself on the back. When your brushing your teeth in the morning or at night before bed, think to yourself “nice work today M8” or “Be a gladiator today” or “Have an awesome day because I’m an awesome person”. Even a smile in the mirror as you leave for work. Feed your brain with positive words.
- The past does not equal the future. Look back over the years and consider all the good things that you have done and achieved. There will be some! Its these things you need to remember because they have made you who you are today. Never forget the good things you do.
- You don’t need much to be happy. Have you seen people living in hard communities or countries where there is overwhelming poverty and they still come out smiling? Whilst others with wealth and every material object known to man can complain, feel hard done by and unappreciative of life and what they have. Feel blessed with what you have and be grateful.
- Love and focus on the people that care about you. Knowing where to direct your energy is easy. Direct it to the people who care about you and who are good to you. Give them the best version of yourself and share as many happy times as possible with them and create memories.
These living rules are pretty easy to accomplish if you set your mind to it. If I have forgotten any that you feel would help make a difference, please share them with us.
Have a wonderful 2022. Remember to find the time to love yourself with the ideas above as often as you can. The days and months will fly by, lets make the most of every minute 🙂
great article. As a person that has just separated and now living in a rental property (after owning a big house) it is worth remembering what is really important
A great ’16 awaits
Yep, thanks, Kieran and Peter. All very recent for me as well. So much ground to cover….property/ assets settlement kids co-parenting. My 5 year old boy is unhappy with me and is feeling rejected….said some horrible words to me on the phone the other day….still doesn’t understand what is happening. Breaking my heart just a little. But we are still all healthy, I will still see my little ones half the time….just have to get a groove and routine going and, we will all be ok !!! Patience !!!!!!!Also Peter one to add to your list………for me anyway…….take one bite of my current crisis at a time and deal with it. Try and not overwhelm myself with the current mass of change to every aspect of my life…….just bite size chunks……and accept that we don’t have control. I don’t mean give up and not try…..no I try very hard every day with being an involved dad, self care, job etc …….but by accepting the current situation as it is now, acknowledging you have no control , for me anyway it just lightens the load a little.
Would love to see if there are any support groups for separated fathers. How about starting one??? Anyone interested ??? I live Freo area.
One day at a time. Happy new year!
HI Chris,
What you say is very true, take each day, each pebble in the road, win at a time. Dont think to far ahead as it can seem like a mountain to climb. One step in front of the other and time passes, things happen and life slowly gets back to normal. In relation to your son saying mean heartbreaking things, I sense you already know that he is only 5 and they say things they dont mean, it just comes out and time will heal all of that. Kids say the most heartbreaking comments but they dont mean them. When you see him just pretend he never said it and kick off as normal. You’re a step up dad and hold your head high because you will feel a real sense of parenting accomplishment as time goes on. Best wishes for 2016
Thanks for the suggestion yes I did pretend he didn’t say it and we slipped back to normal. He reminded me this time around how much encouragement he needs and how he responds so well to real authentic praise. Also he is raw,,,,, I need to tread carefully now is not the time for digging in and head butting over things I believe he should be practising…………ways he is behaving. He is adjusting just like all of us….we all need a break, I know tough love is not my gig when I am hurting. Thanks for the wishes and affirmations.