When you’re a dad—whether you’re navigating life post-divorce or figuring out how to connect with your adult kids—there’s a question you’ll likely come up against again and again:
Do you want to be right, or do you want to have a relationship?
It’s a humbling question. And it often shows up in the middle of conflict—when you’re misunderstood, when something feels unfair, or when you’re trying to communicate and all you’re met with is silence or resistance.
Pride vs. Peace
Let’s be honest: being right feels good. Especially when you’re confident in your values, your actions, or your intentions. But when you hold onto being “right” at all costs, you may find yourself losing something much more important—connection.
In relationships with an ex-partner, especially when co-parenting, it can be tempting to defend yourself, correct the record, or dig your heels in. With adult children, it might be over how they’re living their life, how they speak to you, or how they’ve interpreted past events.
But here’s the hard truth: being right doesn’t always lead to reconciliation, growth, or peace. Sometimes, it leads to distance.
The Power of Humility
You might feel like you’re not at fault. Maybe you weren’t the one who caused the issue. Maybe the misunderstanding really wasn’t your doing. But extending an apology or acknowledging someone else’s hurt—even when it’s hard—can be the bridge to healing.
That doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re strong enough to lead with humility. It means you’re prioritising connection over ego.
You might say:
- “I can see how that made you feel, and I’m sorry for my part in that.”
- “It wasn’t my intention, but I understand now how it came across.”
- “I want us to move forward, and I’m willing to own what I can to make that happen.”
None of those statements mean you’re admitting guilt for something you didn’t do. You’re simply choosing the relationship over the argument.
Moving Forward
Relationships with an ex or adult children can be complex and emotionally charged. Sometimes they feel fragile. Other times, they feel stuck. But the way forward isn’t always through proving your point—it’s through patience, empathy, and humility.
So the next time you’re in a tough spot, ask yourself:
Do I want to be right? Or do I want to rebuild, reconnect, and move forward?
You may be surprised at how far a soft answer and a humble heart can go.
You’ve got this, Dad.
Sometimes leadership in the family isn’t about control—it’s about choosing peace, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Want more support? Connect with DadsOnline.com.au.
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