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Reply To: child maintenance and asset split after kids turn 18

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#7685
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Hi Peter, thank you for the reply.

The marriage hasn’t been great for years and although my wife would disagree I think there is way too much water under the bridge, far too many hurtful things said to me that can never be taken back nor that I can get out of my head to be able to happily move forward.

It is 10+ years of becoming totally different people to who we were when we first met who together don’t make a great relationship.

They talk about mid life crisis. I started looking about 3 years ago and reviewing the last 10 years and asking myself what can improve and what do the next 30 years look like. I don’t want the next 30 to be anything like the last 10 when it comes to my relationship.

For me as the words say, I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees, is my thinking moving forward.

It’s a long way for me to say that I don’t think the relationship is salvageable.

Regarding the finances I still have 10 to 12 years of work ahead of me. I like to do the sums and am always looking at historical trends which generally serves me well although it was this which helped our finances fall in a heap when I was holding out for a property turnaround only to find that the downturn went on for many many years longer than I thought it would and this was when holding around $5M worth of property and a significant amount of debt.

I don’t need to live a lavish live but for me if I can walk away with $300k in super and $125k or so from the house this is a start. $300k in super is historically going to turn into $700k to $900k over 12 years. If I can keep my current level of income I can add to this via employer contributions and a small bit more myself to the tune of $250k and as at around 63ish have around $950k to $1100k in superannuation as a single person. If was lucky enough to be with someone else by that stage hopefully they would also bring some $$ to the pool.

I potentially will come into around $100k from my parents estate at some stage. My wife should do well on her side and come away with around $300k which obviously will remain hers.

Im confident that if I can get the $125k it will get me into something small which I can possible renovate or battle-ax / develop and build to a point where by retirement I own a house.

Im not too worried about the finances if I come away with an equal split on the marital assets and even then my possible future financial outlook good or bad isnt enough to keep me in a very unhappy relationship.

We both love our kids very much and I am hopeful that they wont take sides and that we will both share in their lives moving forward. I know that I wont be pushing them to take sides although I am seeing a bit of posturing on my wifes side to bring them closer to her. She has always coached their netball team and they have always spent a lot of time together but I have also made a point of dad / daughter time when just the three of us would go out together and hopefully this doesn’t change.

Sorry to go on like this but as I have only shared my position with two mates it is good to just be able to blurt it all out.

I will be interested to see what other comments I get back.